Everything is exactly the same way I remember it being 5 years ago, from the way the furniture in the living room was positioned to the stacks of vhs tapes that were under the TV in the entertainment center. It kind of hurt the way that things are so constant here. Like nothing happened. But that was the case, nothing here changed, at all. Other than my arrival.
"Bellas old room?" I asked my uncle Charlie quietly. He nodded, "I'm going to order a pizza the drive back took longer than expected." He sighed. I nodded in agreement. "Is there anything that you wont eat?" He asked I could tell that this change was going to be awkward for him so I'm gong to do my best to make myself as easy to manage as possible. "Not really, sardines but if you want them I can just pick them off." I shrugged as he handed me my other duffel bag and I moved towards the stairs. "No one eats sardines and enjoys it." He said at a horrible attempt to make a joke, it was awkward but I chuckled anyway my exhaustion evident in my voice.
"In the morning we can run out and get things that you might need if you want." He offered. "I'm not a morning person." I scoffed. "But thanks for the offer, I think i'm good. If I figure anything that I absolutely need I'll let you know." I added, he nodded seeming to understand my answer which i was thankful for.
Bella's room was smaller than the one i had back at home and like everything house from the magnates on the fridge to the boots lined on the wall everything in here was in the same place too. I was too tired to think about rearranging anything tonight, I just dropped my bags on the bare bed and pulled out a pair of sweats and a tank top so i could go do that thing that over the past few months I've grown to hate.
Its not that I dislike actually bathing but I hate the 'avoid the mirror' game. I had to do it because i wanted to get sick every time i saw myself and what I've been reduced to while I was in the hospital and the aftermath of the accident. I've lost almost 50 pounds and I was to be honest a healthy weight, the greatest shape I've been in in my life actually. But the way my bottle green eyes that I once prided myself on as being my best feature were gaunt and had dark circles around them, from a mixture of sleepless and nightmare filled nights.
The scars though, they were what made me really want to not look. They were what made me hate my own skin but being drug behind a flipped car on the asphalt for about 50 feet will do that too someone. It could definitely be worse but when your rendered so uncomfortable with stairs that you refuse to leave the house and go out in public without being as covered as possible it takes its toll.
Without even realizing it I was doing it again. Staring. That's how i know its hard for people not to, if I cant help it myself how can i expect them to? They ranged from a little over 2 inches wide on my arm arm and leg to about 10 inches on my side and hip, thick raised scars going down the left side of my body. My head wasn't even untouched, most of my left ear is gone and I have a scar on my Jaw the 'lucky' part about those is that I could cover them with my hair.
My auburn hair was the only thing that hasn't changed other than the small patch around my ear that no longer grew.
I was lucky
After my shower I knew the pizza was probably here but I was too tired to function at this point and i walked to my room across the hall and lay down on the bed with every intention of getting up and going to find a pillow and blanket for myself but sleep consumed me so suddenly I didn't have the chance.
.... 3 days later.....
I sat at the kitchen table sipping my coffee and scrolling threw my phone seeing how even with me gone all of my friends were still able to function as proper 18 year olds. Having fun and going to parties without me like it wasn't any different. I'm not going to lie and say that it doesn't hurt that I haven't even gotten any text messages telling me how much they miss me or to check in on me but it is what it is. Things change and this is just one of them.
I don't expect to have friends until I start working which i don't know how long that's going to be there's only a few family own businesses in this little town and they aren't hiring right now. Charlie says that I don't need to worry about it but I do, I don't want to be a financial burden on him after the money from my families life insurance is over. If was 18 now then I wouldn't even have had to move in with him period.
Thats the cool thing about Charlie he's been nothing but supportive. In his own awkward way, Bella thinks that its because hes happy that hes not living alone anymore.
Speaking of Bella, I haven't got to see her yet. Shes gone with her own family on a trip to Africa I think it is but I cant say for 100% that i remember what she told me. My whole life here has been nothing but a haze considering the nightmares have only gotten worse with the change of scenery. More vivid and realistic but it helps me wake up sooner i guess so there's that. I know that Charlie is concerned about them but there's nothing that I can do short of not sleeping at all. Which is what I do if i can help it even if that bothers him too.
"I thought you weren't a morning person." Charlie said walking in and confusing me because I thought he had left for work earlier but he was dressed in a flannel and jeans instead of his police uniform. "Couldn't sleep." I muttered. "Do you have any plans for today?" He asked knowing that I didn't but he wanted to know if it was ok with me if i got out of the house, which I have yet to do.
"No, whats up?" I asked raising my eyebrows at him. "A friend of mine is having a barbeque out on the beach in LaPush. He said referring to the native american reservation that was a small drive away from here. "Sounds fun." I said sarcastically rolling my eyes. "Fireworks and a bon fire, there will be other kids around your age there." He said as if attempting to sell me on the idea. "You remember Jacob Black?" He asked me the name did ring a bell. "I think so." I said attempting to remember. "The kid that you and Bella used to play with." He added attempting to jog my memory.
It worked. "That skinny kid?" I scoffed. "Yeah, hes not little anymore." He sighed in a way that made me laugh. "Quill and Embry live out there still too?" I asked remembering them as well. He nodded. "Alright, I'll be ready in like 2 minutes." I said standing up and walking up to my room.
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Thats it for this chapter guys!!!
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Beyond Love |Paul Lahote|
FanfictionKathryn Swan was a girl who loved her family but in a matter of seconds, her old life was taken away from her. Broken and permanently scarred she moves in with the only family she has left her uncle Charlie. Now she's faced with changes she didn't e...