I wanna die.
There is over an overwhelming sense of helplessness that just washes over me at the most random times it makes me so mad and confused. I feel like I can't do anything right and I don't understand,why? Life isn't supposed to be easy I get it but is it supposed to be this hard. Is it meant to feel like I'm just going through the motions rather than living like I should or want to?
So yes, I wanna die. I wanna disappear and I just want to stop thinking! When I say I can't do this anymore I mean it I can't it's too hard. Counting calories all day never reaching where you want, the constant fucking disappointment I can't take it, I can't breath. There is so little control in my life right now I just want it to end. I cant feel anything, it seems like all I wanna do is stay in bed and forget all the bad times, which last time I checked was everyday.
I feel like I don't have a reason to be unhappy but I am. Just so freaking unhappy today I just want it to stop this feeling of emptiness. I want to i don't know feel something, which is scaring me because my wanting to feel something was what first caused me to cut. This feeling isn't foreign, I've been here before and last time I drowned in this feeling.
I just want all the thoughts to go away, all the stress, I just want everything to disappear.
YOU ARE READING
The Ramblings of the Lost
Non-FictionTotal disclaimer: I have no idea what I'm doing. I've written essays before maybe a shitty book there or two without actually finishing them but when it comes to this the naked truth about what goes on in my head I'm at a loss. I'll stand there and...
