Right Here For You

12. I can't face him

What was happeing?

,,Alex tell me...", Justin odered as he sat down on the bed, wantig me to join him.

It was so much to handle. Someone saw my scarfs, not just someone, Justin Bieber aka this unknown singer. Which I loved listening to, which...saved me in so many ways...but not from everything, I still did cut. But he gave me hope.

,,No Justin I can't."

,,Alex...I want to help you. Don't push me away."

,,You wouldn't understand. Can we please forget this."

I got my suitacases, I cant do this. I cant stay here.

How did I get to this point?

,,What are you doing?" Justin asked as he got up of the bed. ,,I'm going.''

,,Why do you wanna leave now? Alex stay! I want you to stay.", I heard him saying while I went to the bathroom getting my stuff.

,,I need to go."

As i was done packing I saw justin standing next to the door. I walked towards the door, I just wanted to get out of this room. Justin took my hand. ,,Alex I would never judge you. Just stay."

I relieved my hand from his grip and left. I had to.

"I want you to stay." The words were spinning in my head. And the look on his face when he saw my scarfs. As if the scarf changed the way he thought about me.

-

Tuesday night, four days after I left Justin in the room. I was sitting in my apartment and watched old episodes of friends. The night where I left Justin was all over my mind. He saw my scarfs and I know for sure he sees me completly different now. There is no way I can see him again. My eyes met my wrist, the scarfs were much better healing now but you could still see that they were there. Everytime I looked at them my past was hounting me. Did Justin maybe told them? Maybe thatswhy Alli and Donna didn't called up since than. I am sure he did and now they don't want to do anything with me anymore. I could understand it,who wants to be around a girl like me?

Normally I listen to music when I have nothing to do but most of my songs are from that Un- from Justin.

My phone was ringing and I was pushed out of my thoughts. It was Alli, I was suprised to see her name on the screen. ,,Hey Alex!", she greated happily. ,,Hey Alli."

,,How are you? Justin told me that you left because of a family-emergency. I am sorry. Is everything okay now?''

He didn't tell them, I was really relieved he didn't. Now I had to come up with a lie, I am a bad liar.

,,Yes, thank you...Now everything is okay, wasn't that bad."

I didn't go into detail becouse I don't have a familymember to bring up. ,,That's nice to hear. Since you had to leave we didn't exactly do anything together. The couples had they had their own thing going on.",she laughed, ,,I am sorry Alex! Well I wanted to make that up to you, so you wanna join us tonight?"

,,It's okay Alli. But I don't know...''

,,You have to come Alex! Everyone will be here."

That means also Justin, no I really can't go. ,,Alli I can't go sorry. I would really like to but I can't."

,,Why?"

,,I...uhm...I have an audition."

,,Alex you have an audition at nine in the evening?"

See I am a bad liar. ,,Uhm...yeah it's some broadway musical. Thanks for calling and sorry again. I will see you tomorrow!", I said. ,,Yeah okay bye.", she told me and I hung up.