Home is where the heart is // C.H.

Moving in

For me, going to college means change and that's exactly what I'm looking for. If not, I would've just stayed in Portugal living the same boring life I've lived for eighteen years now.

I need a fresh start, new people, new places, even new music, I say as I clicke on the playlist that I've already listened 1938393 times. I take a deep breath and think about the choice that I made: Australia. The fact that I'm only sitting in the plane, waiting for it to take off makes me not regret nor pride leaving my old life behind, but I seriously crave that, in little time, I will be regretting not having moved earlier.

However, I know I will miss a lot of things either. My family, my friends, the food and probably spending my birthday in a warm weather. My mom's voice still lingers in my head: "Please, Mafalda. Is Australia really necessary? You can study literature anywhere, including here, and you want to go to the other side of the world? What's the point in that? Help me, Luis, convince your daughter to stay here with her family, where she belongs." Although she was using the best "mom arguments" to make me stay in Lisbon, nothing would make me change my mind. I have been taking the same route to school for the last fifteen years, I have known, basically, the same people for fifteen years and I'm sick. I'm sick of trying to find a new route, when I know there isn't one, I'm sick of not making an effort on knowing new people, because I'm awkward and I know I already have some friends, I'm sick of the typical Portuguese mentality that teaches people that the easiest way is the right one.

After the take off, the most relaxing part of the flight, despite what most people think, I look through the window and see the city I'm leaving, having flashbacks of all the beautiful moments that I lived here. The Cathedral remebers me of my Chrismation: I was in charge of reading a excerpt of the Bible in front of about 300 people and I was freaking out so much, that, when I got to the altar and looked to all those people, the only thing that came out of my mouth was a "Hum"; the river reminds me of that one time when me and my two best friends were taking pictures by it and Patrícia jumped in, because she wanted her first picture in the Tejo river; downtown reminds me of the day I actually ran after a guy who I thought to be my favourite youtuber, when, in reality, was just some tourist, who swore never get back to Lisbon. Undoubtedly, these memories are what I'll be missing the most, but I also know that, the next time I come back here, they will still be here, waiting for me.

My friends, while crying on the airport, made me promise that never will I find someone to fill in their places, which I know is totally impossible, because although I need a fresh start, they, along with my family, are the only things that I will never replace.

After almost two days of planes, airports, non-healthy food and listening to same songs over and over again, I have only two hours left of flight. I'm getting mixed feelings, right now, to be honest. On one hand, I'm super excited to see my new house, feel the beach sand in my toes and to know Sydney. On the other hand, I want to ask the captain to head back to Portugal. However, I know there is no turning back now, especially, because my obstinacy will never allow me to get back there to see the mischievous grin on my mom's face, telling me that she was right and that I should've never left.

//

As I get to my new home, I think of another bright side of living on my own to add to my mental "Bright Side List": I can now smoke whenever I want, without having to worry about my parents. I mean, they know I smoke, but I just don't feel confortable with doing it in front of them. Thinking of my parents, on my way here, I saw the beach and instantly remembered my dad; he would love to have a beach so close to his house. I'm one hundred percent sure he would get up earlier in the morning every day, so that he could have a surf session just before going to work. I don't usually say it out loud, but my dad is the most important person in my life. Of course I love my mom, but I'm a daddy's girl and that will never change. The way he laughs, the way he envisages life make me want to be like him, though we have total opposite personalities. He's chilled and doesn't think too much, while I think way too much and I'm anything but chilled.

A few minutes have passed, since I got home and my mom is already calling me.

"Hi, sweetie! How's everything? Is everything ok with your house? I was wondering why you haven't called, since you landed an hour ago." And here it goes my mom, always asking too much questions, worrying too much and being the sweetest.

"Yes, mom, everything's fine. I just got home and I haven't even had time to sit on the couch to call you and dad, that's why I haven't called yet." I answer all of her questions in the shorter way possible, just like the experience taught me.

"It means you're not coming home today?" She asks and I can imagine her expression with her shrunken nose and wrinkled forehead as she wishes that my answer is that I am.

"No, mom, I'm not coming back today and I don't know when I will. Please stop pressuring me, alright? I will be fine and so will you." I truly feel sorry that I have to break her heart like this, but this is the decision I've made and she has to accept it.

After being able to say goodbye to my mother, I call my dad just to assure him I'm fine, which is everything he needs, really. One of the perks of having divorced parents is that, whenever I call my dad, I won't have to listen to my mom rambling stuff from behind while I'm trying to have a conversation with him.

"Alright, darling, if you need anything just call me, ok? Oh and don't forget to watch Benfica's game in two days!" How could I? I've been a Benfica supporter ever since I can recall and, when I was sixteen, me and my best friend started buying the ticket season so that we could attend every game at our stadium. So, of course not, I wouldn't forget to watch this game, nor any future, despite the time difference.

//

It is almost dinner time, when someone knocks on my door. Weird, I think, as I walk down the stairs to open it.

"Hello, dear! I'm Anne Irwin, your neighbour, and I just passed by to let you know that, if you need anything, I'm literally next door." She laughed. What a nice lady.

"Thank you so much. I truly appreciate it." I answered.

"Oh you're not australian!" She squealed.

"No, I'm portuguese. I came here to attend college after the summer." I explained, with a smile on my face.

"Thats's amazing."

Our small talk ends a few moments later, as she says she has to get dinner ready for her kids. I just hope they aren't babies that cry all night.

Hellooo!! I'm really glad I'm writting this, you have no idea. If anyone ever reads this, I have four school exams next week and it will take me like two weeks to post the next chapter.

Thank you xx