First and Last

Disclaimer: All the creative rights belong to Mihona Fuji.

Author’s Note: Do you remember your first love? Rekindle your first love with my new story – FIRST AND LAST. This story was inspired by Anita Shreve’s novels. I’d be glad if you’ll read this! Enjoy!

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FIRST AND LAST

by Summer Everdeen (cold summer night)

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TWENTIETH

The last time we met.

I told you I’ll forget.

I was lying.

Deep inside, I was dying.

xx.

Just like the clattering of glasses for the toast in my engagement party, the wedding bells sounded the same. To my sense of hearing, it seems to be a warning sign instead of a celebrating resonance.

I watch you smile from afar. When he waves his hand on you, you abruptly walk to where we stand while scratching your head. I wonder what you are thinking. Congratulations, you extend your hand to him then look at me with a happy expression in your face. Why do you feel happy? I’ll forget you, I say. You laugh. Is it funny for me to say that? Even if you laugh, there’s a hint of pain affixed to it. I know. Will I forget you? You just know that, it may or may not be true but you should know that I’m lying.

Do you know that I want to despise you at this minute? Why didn’t you stop me from being married to him? You told me you would. You promised you would. You said you’ll be at my house the night before my wedding. I even waited for you at the eighth street. I even stopped there on the day of my wedding, just waiting for you. Why did you make me believe any of it? Did you expect me to runaway instead? I still don’t get you. I think I will never get you.

I remember the night and day when we were young. You were still serious and cold, yet I feel that you begin to loosen up a bit. Do you remember when I snuck out of our vacation house to go by the beach? I was hoping you’ll be there. I was praying to meet you - somehow. And I did. We met again. And again. But you run away.

I remember when you said that you’ll wait for me while re-reading my letters. I came. Didn’t I? We weren’t young anymore. You were beautiful and warm. I told you I love you, you said you know that already. We were happy. I gave myself to you. Do you know that you will always be my first love? Do you know that you will always be my first?

I remember how you look. I remember your ocean scent. I remember how you breathe. I remember how you tasted. I remember how our surroundings looked. I remember the smell of the air, it was salty. I remember everything. Will you remember them as well? Or will you just throw them away?

I watch you turn your back on us, waving your hand. Is this a good bye? Are you really leaving? Is this the last time? I need to know. I might never see you again. I call your name. Rei. You didn’t look back. I follow you. You stop walking. Just this once, can you tell me? Just so I could let you go. Just so I could give myself the freedom to forget you. Why didn’t you come? I don’t like you, you say. That’s it?

NINETEENTH

You said it as if it’s not complicated at all.

As if it’s usual and acceptable.