An Angel in my Life

A special note

Well, my childhood is a childhood spent all alone... But lemme share a personal story....
Take your time to read.. I'm asking for too much after you've read through the entire book.. But please bear with me for a few more moments...
Lemme take you for a tour of my life...

" I know you are angry with me bro. I know I did wrong at school today. But, at that moment this seemed like the right thing to do." A 8 year old me said. My mum shouted from her bedroom " Enough already! Stop talking to the curtains and the walls Kelly!" Yes, I was actually talking to the wall. I replied " Whatever mom!"

I had an overactive imagination from when I was 4. I would talk to the curtains, the walls, and into the empty space. Upon being asked, I would say that I was talking to my elder brother. I would point at nothing and say " See there he is. Isn't he handsome?" This petrified mum an dad primarily. But they got used to it with time. They knew their daughter was not mad but was lonely. And dreadfully wanted a brother in her life. Initially, mum and dad even took me to a specialist. But, the doctor said " There's nothing to worry about. Sometimes little kids do have overactive imaginations. She will get over it with time. Just wait for it. Anyhow she's just 5 now. Kids of her age do all sort of funny things. Let her be herself."

Though I had friends to play with, I still felt it more comfortable to share my secrets and all my wishes to the wall or the curtain. At times I would even hug the curtain and cry. Upon being asked by my parents' I would reply " This is bro and my secret. I am not telling you. Some talks should be just between us." I would never talk to this imagination of mine, when someone would be around, I would just whisper something . So, even my mom and dad didn't know what I would talk to the walls and curtains about. None of my friends and family( other than parents) knew about this imaginary brother of mine.

On every Christmas, I would buy one special gift and write on the card 'for my loving brother'. I would later keep that gift inside my locker and keep it locked. I would call that my emotion's locker. My mom and dad never found the need to check on that locker. They knew I just needed a sibling. I was no different than the other kids.

Whenever I would go on road trips with her parents, I would always ask for an extra snack or an extra soda bottle for my brother. If I would ever be refused by my mom and dad, I would say " Okay than, even I don't want anything to eat. If my brother can stay hungry, so can I!" I was very possessive about this brother of mine, who did not even exist for the rest of the world.

On every birthday of mine I would want one extra gift for my brother as well. I would say " Dad, we cannot celebrate brother's birthday with everyone. We can't throw him a party. But, we could at least buy him a gift." I would be happy even if my dad gave me a pencil as a gift. I would say " Dad, this birthday, even I want a pencil. I don't want anything fancy." Saying this much I would smile and happily take two pencils in two of my little hands and go about with my dad hopping and singing and blabbering .

One day, while I was watching TV, my mom asked " Kelly, do you seriously want to continue behaving like a harebrained? You are 15 now. You have to stop talking to the curtains and walls now. You have to let go of your brother now. And this overactive envisaging has gotta stop." To this I replied " Mum, can you ever let go of your sister? And maybe I can only see my brother with my mind's eyes, but he is very real to me. Don't you always say that if we keep dreaming, one day we eventually find ways to reach them. Who knows, one day even I may get a name to my make-believe brother."
My mother shook her head in disapproval and walked away.

One day when I was 18, I was watching a movie, I suddenly saw a face, that was very familiar to me. That face belonged to some one I now knew in my head for 15 years. That face belonged to my pretend brother. I could not believe my eyes. I bounced on the couch with excitement. I had a smile from one ear to the other. I could not express my happiness in words. I shouted " Mum, dad, please come over here.. quickly.!" My mom and dad rushed to the living room and found me enfolding the TV which was hiatus. " What's the matter Kelly, why were you shouting ? Is everything okay? Has your movie paused automatically? Shall daddy check what the problem is?" Asked my mother. I uttered " yes.. no.. I do not know.." I was very happy and was pointing at the screen with tear filled eyes. My dad came up to me and asked " What's the matter honey? Why are you crying?" Her mom added " But, look at her she is so happy. I have never seen her so happy." I sat down for a few minutes, took a deep breath and said " Mum, dad this person. His face is exactly the same as I always imagined my brother's face to be. I finally found my brother. I finally found my brother! I can't believe it!"And I started jumping around the living room. To this my mother said "Oh! Enough with your imaginary brother thing. I am fed up with it. Stop it already! " And she walked out of the living room.
My dad said " Kelly, honey, come here and sit with me for a minute." I went and sat next to my dad on the couch. He continued " Honey, I believe you. Let's agree that this person, celebrity has the exact same face that you imagined for your make belief brother. But maybe you imagined his face coz you had seen him somewhere before." I replied " But dad, I've been imaging my brother since I was 3. Where could I have possibly seen him back then!" My dad replied " Okay. Let's say he owns the same face as your imaginary brother, but do you really think you can ever get to him. And say you somehow find a way to get to him, do you really think he would want you as his sister? Really Kelly? Think about it honey. !! He must have his own family. His own little sister. He does not want you in his life. I know you are very excited right now. But, I strongly suggest you keep your brother just to your imagination. Do not try to find him in the real world." He patted my cheek and got up to leave and continued " Now finish that movie of yours and go to bed. Good night honey." I replied " Night dad."