restrictions - dm au

6:

I secretly hoped there would be nothing for dinner, and that wish came true. I know it's gross, but sometimes I wish I could slice my thighs open and take all the fat out. Trust me, I know what I'm doing isn't healthy, but I need to lose the weight.

"Brynn, come downstairs!" Mom said. She's the one who made me like this, in some ways I'm thankful, because otherwise I would have stayed fat, in some ways I despise her, because maybe I would have thought I was "healthy," and wouldn't think I needed to go on this diet.

I decided, yesterday night, that I would make a list of "restrictions." Things I couldn't eat, couldn't do, when I was allowed to eat, and other stuff. I was going to add "Kenzie" to the list, but I decided she's good thinspo for me.

I walked downstairs, I was so hungry, I was tempted to get a snack, but I have to take control.

"Dad's coming home tonight," Mom said happily, as if she hadn't just decided to not give me dinner, ever, unless Dad was there.

I was really happy to see Dad, but I know that meant I'd have to eat. I wish people would just stay out of it, even Kenzie's tried to ask why I never eat my lunch anymore, but it's not her business. This is my choice and I'm sticking to it.

We walked into room 512, the one Dad was staying in. He was finally awake and breathing normally. Still, he looked weak, even older because he was now bald. I guess he was losing so much hair he chose to shave it all off.

"Hello, Brynn," Dad croaked out weakly.

"I know he seems quite weak," the nurse noted. "But he is doing very well and should be okay at home. If he has an incident like that one again, we will have to keep him here for longer."

"Thank you," Mom said to the nurse, in a sad voice. The nurse nodded and went to go get the wheelchair. "How are you feeling?" Mom asked Dad.

"I feel a, a, um, bit better," Dad answered, opening his eyes again. "I want to go home." It almost made me cry to see him like this. But I decided I would save that for at home.

"Well, you're going to come home now," I said with a sad smile. He smiled back slightly. "And you'll be home tomorrow, maybe we can watch a movie together tonight."

"Sure," Dad said very quietly.

The nurse came back in the room with the wheelchair and Dad sat in it. She helped take him down to the car, and after that she left.

I really wanted that Mom wouldn't make me eat dinner just because Dad was home.