Regret is another word that can define it.
When I wake up every morning and see the hurt look on Gabi’s face, I feel regret. When we are walking home from school, side by side but not saying a single word to each other, I feel regret.
I knew how Gabi felt about Josh, but I chose to ignore it. I wasn’t sure how I could possibly do such a terrible thing to her. It took me a while to realise myself, that I loved him too, and sometimes when you’re in love you can’t think right. You can’t think about whose feeling you’re going to hurt or really anything besides yourself.
I regret continuing my ‘Relationship’ with Josh. Not because he turned out to be a backstabbing bastard, or that he hurt me terribly, or even that he is still playing Gabi. I regret my relationship with Josh, because the worst thing he has ever done to me was kill my relationship with Gabi. Not just our sisterly friendship, but our trust. Trust isn’t something you can flick on with a switch; it’s something that takes years to build up, but a second to destroy.
Josh broke our trust down to a crisp and for that I could never forgive him.
I woke from a door being slammed really hard. My eyes opened and I immediately looked out the window. I felt so happy, the snow was my life, every year I was just bursting with excitement for our three week snow trip. Even though I wasn’t ecstatic about seeing all of our family friends, I defiantly couldn’t wait to get out on the slopes.
I pushed the door open and slid out. I griped onto my purse and slung it over my shoulder. My shoe slipped beneath me on the black iced road and I was waiting to hit the hard ground. Before I could I felt a hand grab me by the arm. I hadn’t noticed who it was because I was to focused on the scenery.
I took my eyes of the falling snow which looked like tiny dancing angels and looked into the deep piercing blue eye. I felt angry across my body as I was helped to my feet.
‘Jess, I’ve been looking for you!’ said Josh with his deep and flawless voice. His mysterious eyes were focused on mine.
‘What do you want Josh?’ I said staring down his body to where his hand held mine. I death stared our hand touching. He soon got the message and pulled his large hand away.
‘Well I was going to save my little speech till later but I guess now will do… I made a mistake with Gabi, I mean she was all over me and the idea of having both of you seem like a great idea for my raging teenage self. I meant what I said when we were twelve, and I mean it now. I Love You.’
‘Sorry Josh, any other girl would have leaped into your arm after that…. Speech. But that raging teenager was still you and its only been a year, I’m sure you probably just said that same thing to Gabi.’
He opened his mouth to talk but I interrupted him before he got the chance.
‘I’m not interested in you anymore, so back off.’ I said walking past him and up into the snowed over driveway into the town houses.
There are six town houses, all kind of in a little community circle and then in the middle was our club house/ lodge/bar were award are given away to the comp winners, the easy gliders and the entertainment for the day.
All of the six families including mine are really good friends, and we meet up here every year to basically show off our snow skills.
I walk up to our townhouse number three, and opened the door. As I stepped inside the warm air filled my lungs and heated up my cold body.
‘Jess! Is that you?’ I heard my mum scream out.
‘Yeah…’ I said, walking around the bottom level at all the old furniture for ten years ago.
