Yes Maybe Also

Chapter 6

( Belle's POV )

I left Gemma's place at about ten, Hally was begging me to come home. She hated being alone. 

That same night, Derek called me again. I answered.

"Hey, Bella. Please don't hang up again - I just want to talk to you." He pleaded.

"About what? Don't pretend like we can ignore what you did. I can't see a way to forgive you for it, either." I told him, trying to hold myself together. "Besides, I don't want to see you. Did you ever think about why I might've moved to another continent to go to college?" 

He didn't answer right away. When he did, he said, "I want to talk about us. Now-"

"Derek, no! Did you hear anything I just said?!" I tried to keep my voice down, for Hally's sake. She was watching her favorite movie in the other room.

"Bella, please just let me talk. No interuptions?" He begged.

"Give me one reason why I should!" I was really getting worked up now. I wouldn't say I had a quick temper, but Derek had this way of getting me going.

"Because you know there are two sides to this story and you'll never be able to..." He took a deep breath, "get over me until you know both of them."

I knew he was right, like usual. "Fine, no interuptions."

"First, I know you don't want to hear this, but I have to say it before I tell you the story. I love you." I squeezed my eyes shut and pulled the phone away from my ear. He was right. That wasn't what I needed to hear. He kept going. "And I will always love you, no matter how you feel about me after this. Okay, sorry. I just had to say it." He took in a shaky breath. 

"Well, the first time I tried the drugs, we had already been dating for a month. It was at one of Jeremey's parties, everyone was taking a hit. I really, really believed that I could get buzzed, have fun, and go on with my life without ever touching the stuff again. But after that first hit, I couldn't get enough, it was like my whole life, every problem or any bad memory that I've ever had went away. It was just me, surounded by good energy. I started going to every party that Jeremey went to and got high at every single one. Eventually, parties on the weekends weren't enough. I started buying from Jeremey's dealer, Bianca. I guess you called her Bee. I know she was your best friend, I understand it was hard for you when you found out, but she was so good to me, Bella. The first time she sold to me, I got high right there at that party. She took care of me. I needed her, but I couldn't lose you. So... I had to have both of you. I had told Bianca that you had broken up with me when we first slept together, so please don't blame her for this. Really, at the end of the day, I know I'm the bad guy in both sides of the story, and I'm sorry." He didn't talk for a long time. I think he was waiting for me to say something, but I had no idea what to say. I wiped away a few tears that had fallen and said: 

"You really, really hurt me, Derek." 

"I know." I was glad that he wasn't trying to make up excuses, taking complete ownership for his actions. But still, that didn't make up for what he had done. 

"Are you still seeing her?" I asked, fearing the answer.

"No." He said with finality. "She ended it with me the moment she heard that you and I were still together." 

I missed Bee. And it made me miss her even more to hear that she had ended it with someone she told me she had been in love with, for my sake. That was real friendship, that was real loyalty. She watched me walk around with what could have been the love of her life, and said nothing. 

"Derek, Bee was in love with you. And for a second there? I thought I was too. And somehow, you ended up breaking her heart and giving me no choice but to put a brick wall around mine." I really had put a brick wall around my heart, I realized. I had turned away every single guy that had taken any interest in me since Derek. Maybe it was time to break down that wall. 

"I know, Bella, I know." He assured me. 

"I'm glad I know all of this. Because now? I really can get over you." It felt so good to say that, and mean it. It felt so good that I just hung up on him because I didn't want him to say anything that could change how sure I felt about this. I sort of laughed a little. I felt... Overjoyed, I went in and watched the end of The Breakfast Club with Hally. 

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( a/n ) 

Early update, whoot whoot! 

I'm sorry it's so short, but I thought you should have some background on Derek and Bee and Belle's life back home in Idaho. 

Umm, yeah. I'll update again tomorrow, and until then... Stay lovely, because you deserve it ( most likely ).

- Char