You see a handsome dog (and good boy) sitting on a bench reading a book. You sit next to him and shake nervously. You must talk to him. You slowly face him and say "H-Hello.." He looks at you, looking completely chill to the bone. He says "What's up." If you weren't in public right now you probably would have just had an orgasm. You ask him what he's reading and he responds "Mein Kampf.. by Hitler. I hope to revive him one day and kiss him delicately." You respond with "Wow me too..!" You think this could be the love of your life. You've never met anyone like him. You nervously ask "Do you wanna go get some coffee." He chuckles and "Why yes, I would." You guys walk to the nearest Starbucks and you both get some generic white girl drink. You and him sit there for an hour talking about pointless stuff like hobbies and and your favourite books and music. He tells you he must leave soon but before leaving he asks you your number. You tell him it and you both leave. You run home and jump into bed absolutely stunned you met someone for once! You take off all your winter gear and running stuff and sit by your phone, waiting for him to respond. You wait and wait and wait but he never calls. You then realize only 20 minutes have passed. "He probably won't call me right away.. I'll just watch a 24 hour "My name Jeff" vine compilation" You watch the 24 hour vine compilation and he never calls. You start to cry uncontrollably. Through the crying you shout to no one at all "Why does everyone hate me!" You run and jump into your bed and put the blanket over your head. You cry and cry all night until you fall asleep from exhaustion. You think to yourself "I'll never love another man again!"
