i first saw Z at the first day of my grade seven class.
honestly, i don't remember much of it. and i feel i should be glad that i did.
we were in the first section (which was a big surprise to me since i didn't feel like i was smart enough to be in there) and not surprisingly, everyone was huddled up to their own circle of friends from their gradeschool and the room was filled with hushed whispers.
i was with my three friends from gradeschool (we were in a new school so we only know eachother at that time) and i remember describing him to my bestfriend (who i will now call D) as the 'tall-white-handsome-and-mysterious-guy-from-the-back-who-was-alone-and-had-no-one-to-talk-to', and now that i think about it, none from that changed from him.
and then i learned that he was from the school my sister was in when she was in highschool.
by the time i entered highschool, my sister graduated so you could tell that it was the perfect timing.
and my sister is the epitome of what a perfect human being was; beautiful, fair-skinned, a dancer, excelled in every subject, was a teacher's pet, an officer of their student council, can sing...
and then there's me.
fat, ugly, an internet addict, weird because i'm a girl that plays video games (especially MMO's), a bookworm, a music lover (of almost every genre, but mostly EDM and Kpop), a writer, a near-mute, always gets discriminated by my parents...
you could tell that there's a difference between us siblings.
so i panicked and thought that maybe this guy wouldn't like me. or worse, try to bully or downgrade me like i thought everyone that was in my sister's previous school would do to me.
it only took the next day for him to prove me wrong.
the second day was eventful, since almost every class in our highschool department had to change rooms to accomodate our batch (we took up seven classrooms, 45 more or less students each whoops), and it took one to two hours just to settle everyone.
we were placed from the first floor of one of the college department's building to the third floor of the main highschool building so it was a walk, since those two buildings quite have the distance from eachother, and we have to go up stairs and all.
while all of this was happening, i noticed 'tall-white-handsome-and-mysterious-guy-from-the-back-who-was-alone-and-had-no-one-to-talk-to' walking alone just behind me, D, and the other friend thaf i have.
he was lonely. even from then i was worried for him.
when we were outside of our new classroom's door, i pulled D back away from the crowded spot since everyone was excited to enter the room.
coincidentally, 'tall-white-handsome-and-mysterious-guy-from-the-back-who-was-alone-and-had-no-one-to-talk-to' was there also.
keep in mind, D is almost the opposite of me; quite brown, had black and curly hair, wore glasses, smart, had supportive parents despite their lifestyle, responsible, a ball of sunshine, friendly, loud, crazy... i could go for more, but it'll be to boring.
it may end up looking like she was the one i feel in love with, but no.
but i'll spare you the thinking and say that yes, i really adore my bestfriend.
so naturally, she confronted him despite me trying to pull her back and the way everything happened was so smooth that it's not even admirable at this point.
and of course, english is not our first language so this is (from what i can remember, mind you) how our conversation went, translated.
(this is me
this is Z
this is D)
man, this place is big, don't you think?
yeah, it is. but why do we have to change rooms like the previous one below had the perfect lighting so that everything was dark when the lights were off and colder too
well, we still don't know what this classroom and class holds.
yeah, you're right.
anyway, what's your name? i'm D.
after that sentence he smiled.
that was the first time i saw him smile, and i would be lying so hard if i say that i wasn't intimidated and taken aback from it.
(holds up his hand) I'm Z.
then he looked at me, holding his hand up to shake.
i was scared since what would he think about me when i told him who i was?
but i just thought 'fuck it' and accepted the handshake.
his hand was bigger than my chubby ones.
it felt nice.
warm.
welcoming.
the two words that i didn't deserve coming from him.
and i'm B. xxx, B.
wait, you're the younger sister of A xxx from my school?
yeah...
that was the time that i was really grateful to have someone as good as a friend like D.
D knew that i hated bringing up my sister's name, since she was so popular and was loved by everyone that i was overshadowed by her.
sometimes i hated her for that, even though i knew it wasn't her fault.
then sometimes i would love her more because of that, since i hated being known.
uh, she kind of doesn't like mentioning her.
why?
because. so please be nice and don't mention her
but why though?
i just felt like i'm obliged to be like her because everyone knew and loved her. and i don't want to become her, nor i want to face expectations.
you don't need to. and hey, i'm not gonna judge. besides, it's cool to see someone like you
from then on, we became friends.
from then on, i knew i was going to like this guy being around me.
months passed, and we gradually became closer.
almost at the brink of being best friends, but i didn't want to assume since it might be different for him.
all i knew was that i have a new friend that wouldn't judge me for who i really am, what i'm going through and why i do such stupid things.
for the meantime, it was nice.
very nice.
in those months i've made him my brother.
so that's how i met Z.
