White - l.h.

4.

"Wherever you are, youuuuuuuuu, wherever you are, every night I almost call you just to say it always will be youuuuuuu, wherever you are."

As I sing the lyrics I scan the arena. It isn't big, not at all, and there are no assigned seating, it's all pit. Everyone is standing and trying to make their way to the front. Everyone but Witny. I usually like performing all the sappy songs I wrote for an ex girl that I liked, but tonight it feels weird to sing about her. It feels like I'm lying, like it won't always be her and the proof of that is somewhere in this room.

"Thank you LA! You guys have been fucking awsome!" I hear Ashton's voice fill the room. Screams erupt and girls start throwing posters and flower crowns on the stage. I try looking for Sammy, maybe Witny is with her? "We can't wait to come back! We love you!" Calum says next thanking our fans. I still scan and catch a couple of girls filming me. "Thank you for being so good to us, we always love coming back here!" Michael says and I know that I'm next to speak. I don't speak right away because I'm still searching but finally give up when the mates are starring at me to close the show.

I take a deep breath and turn my head to my left and that's when I see her. She's in a corner in the back of the room starring at me. She has on some ripped shorts, a black laced crop top, white converse and intense black eye makeup. She looks fucking beautiful. My heart rate picks up and I feel like I could preform another show. She's starring at me so intensely that it gives me goesbumps.

I almost forgot I had to speak.

"Thank you for your support. I think tonight is a special night and for that we should preform a new song?"

Screams fill the close nit arena and Calum and Michael give me weird looks. I didn't know why I had said that, but I had written a song a couple of days ago about Witny. I showed it to the guys at rehearsal today and they liked it. We were going to start practicing it so it was ready when we opened for One Direction this summer. But with Witny here now, tonight, I didn't want to wait.

"This is a song about a girl-" I keep staring at her wanting her to know that this song is about her. I had written it with her in mind, thinking about how I was feeling about caring so much for someone I didn't even know. I thought the only girl I liked was my ex who I had written songs about, and in the beginining of this song it talks about how I felt before knowing Witny, and the rest of the song goes on to describe how I think I would feel about Witny if we started something. 

"A special girl who is here tonight. And I want to dedicate this to her." I look at Witny and I could swear she was looking straight at me. Her brown eyes popping out because of her dark make-up. I think she looks beautiful. I take a deep breath and look to my left and see Calum and Michael looking at me with the weirdest faces. I bet they're so confussed but I need to sing this for her, for Witny, because I might not ever get another chance to. 

"So here's the only reason." 

Screams.

I look at Michael because he's the one who starts the song and he nods. I remind myself to thank the boys soon after this for going along with this. I take a deep breath and hear the first cords of the song being played and then it starts. 

"Don't talk, let me think this over. How we going to fix this? How we going to undo all the pain?" 

The girls in the front row are going crazy as Michael reaches out to them and holds their hands. I smile to myself and wish that Witny was in the front so I could reach out to her. But I do catch her with her phone out and I'm not going to lie, it stung a little. 

" Tell me, is it even worth it? Looking for a straight line taking back the time we can't replace"  

I strum my guitar and look all over the crowd. There has to be hundered of girls here and they are all pretty. Most nights the guys and I try and find the one we like most, the one we could see ourselves falling for, and at the end of the night we tell eachother which one it is when were outside meeting fans. I usually don't get anyone but tonight I have one, I have one that I like. 

It's my turn to sing so I get ready to try and impress Witny enough to put that phone down. 

"All the crossed wires, just making us tired, is it too late to bring us back to life?"

We all imediatly go into the choures and I feel like rocking out to it so I do, kicking my leg in the air before we start singing. 

"When I close my eyes and try to sleep, I fall apart, I find it hard to breath, your the reason, the only reason- even though my dizzy head is numb I swear my heart is never giving up, your the reason, the only reason."  

The fans are going crazy and I can see their digging the song but suddenly I can't see Witny anymore and I am scanning the room trying to find her. 

Calum starts singing and I feel my eyes starting to hurt from looking straight into the bright lights. I can't believe I let her go, I didn't keep her interested enough to stay and meet me after. I blew the one and only chance I had. After that my singing got sloppy and my mood literally changed from excitment to depressed. I didn't feel like singing anymore and I didn't want to be onstage. I just wanted to get back on the bus and leave LA and this mystery girl behind me. 

"THANK YOU LA WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH THANKS FOR MAKING TONIGHT SO FUCKING AWSOME GOODNIGHT!" Michael says as loud as he can and we all say a final goodbye and exit the stage.