Remember Me.

eight

Fear traveled throughout her body.
Anger flowed through her veins.
Grief encompasses her broken heart.
Depression became her friend.

Beyoncé tossed and turned in the covers, but could not open her eyes to wake herself up from this terrible nightmare. All she could see was herself and her daughter dressed in black, standing in a field in front of her husbands casket. Black stained tears from her mascara laid on her cheeks and she felt nothing; no air, no warmth, no feeling to continue on with life itself. As she looked down at Sienna, a spitting image of Shawn himself, her soul began to crumble. What was the meaning of live without the one you love? How could she ever build herself back up when death torn her down? What if she ended everything to join him? Would she be happy? Far in the distance, she heard her name being called. The voice sounded so familiar, but she could not form the words to call out their name..

"Beyoncé, Beyoncé!" Nicole yelled desperately to wake her up. Finally, her eyes cracked open and she stared at Nicole as if she'd seen a ghost.

"What-why are you on top of me!?" Beyoncé yelled

"Because you were having a nightmare. I came in to check on you and you were a complete mess."

After taking a deep breath, Beyoncé slowly sat up in bed and kicked her now disheveled white comforter to the edge of the bed with her foot. Next, she ran her hands through the sweaty mop of hair on her head then grabbed her knees and pulled them up toward her chest. Thankfully, it was just her and Nicole inside of the home that Beyoncé had wrecked. The news from the military officers about Shawn's possible death was the straw that broke her completely and sent her into a complete rage, damaging lamps, dishes, and more importantly, herself. Tina took the best course of action by packing a small baby bag for Sienna, and the two left the household quickly. Nicole had done enough to get Beyoncé calm and in bed, and the house somewhat back to normal. 

"Are you feeling okay?" Nicole asked in a hesitant tone.

Beyoncé closed her eyes to block the tears before opening her mouth to respond, "He really isn't here is he.." she finally spoke.

"I-I.. I don't know, baby girl." Her words did nothing but send Beyoncé into another crying spell. This time, she allowed Nicole to comfort her. "They said they believe, he's passed. Bey he could just be missing in action."

"And what's that suppose to mean!?" Unlike Beyoncé, Nicole took the time out to listen to the officers about their take on this incident.

"It means that they cannot find him. He could be still out on the battlefield hiding or captured. There is still a chance that he's alive, Beyoncé."

She released a deep sigh, "I hope so.. He can't die on me, Nicole. He just can't." After they sat silent for a few minutes, Beyoncé hissed in pain as she felt her breast ache. They were both filled with milk and once Beyoncé realized she had forgot to feed, she began to panic.

"Where's Sienna?" She asked Nicole quickly.

"With your mother. When you snapped, she took the baby and left for a while so that I'd could calm you down."

"Oh good, I guess I'll just pump for now." Beyoncé got up from the bed and made herself semi-presentable to walk downstairs and feel a bit more humane again. When her and Nicole made it downstairs, they did the last of cleaning then ordered Chinese takeout for dinner. A few moments later, Tina came strolling back into the house with her crying granddaughter.

"Look, your mommy is awake!" Tina cooed at Sienna, but nothing made her happy. Carefully, Beyoncé cradled her daughter in her arms and whispered sweet words to calm her down. Once she became situated on the couch, Sienna happily fed from her mother's breast. "How you feeling baby?" Tina questioned as she kissed Beyoncé's forehead.