Asil & Grey // Short Story, Romance, Psychological

Chapter 4- Grey

I wake up shocked to find Asil's head resting on my shoulder. My neck is cramped but I don't lift it away. 

I had the same nightmare I always have. It's more of a memory that I can't forget... My parents were having a fight and I was watching from the crack of my bedroom door. My dad's business was doing poorly at the time and he took out all of his stress and emotions out on his family. I know he loved us but, he went too far. That year, there wasn't a moment of peace in the house.

The fighting got so bad that my mom wanted a divorce. He wouldn't allow it and when he found out that my mother planned to run away with me, he attacked. It was the first time he showed violence towards us and it wasn't the last. When he found out he could get away with it the first time, he got addicted. My mom was beaten daily to the point paranoia took over her brain and I stayed silent and watched the process. She couldn't leave the house because she was covered in scabs and bruises. One day, the business went broke and my dad came home drunk. He blamed everything on my poor mom. Oh God, why did I stay silent that day. Why did I let my mom bleed to death. I could have found help or talked back, but, I was a merely weak 7 year old boy who's biggest fear was my own father.

After the incident, I was taken to live with my relatives on my mother's side and my father was taken to prison for murder. They took me in because they pitied me and honestly, I bet they blamed me partially for her death. They fed me and sheltered me but that's all. There was no comfort. From it, I learned to be independent and strong. I worked numerous part time jobs during high school so that I could go to college outside of town and finally leave. I studied and I got accepted into a good college in America, far away. But even so, every summer I come back to visit my mother's grave.

I have never moved on from the trauma it caused. No matter how hard I tried to distract myself and forget, the memories keep coming back. I have so much regret and guilt bundled up. To mask it, I smile because my mother wished for me to always just smile. I smile and I laugh and I act happy so that no one else will feel my pain. That's just what I've learned to do.

I look at my watch. It's the last hour already. Time sure does go by fast. I close my eyes again and I pretend to be asleep, taking the moment all in. My attention goes to the fragrance of Asil's long dark hair. I can't quite figure out what kind of smell it is -- perhaps a mix of peach and vanilla-- but, the smell makes my heart flutter. Asil makes my heart flutter. A few moments later, the train makes a sudden turn and Asil wakes up. When she feels my presence, she jumps and I pretend to wake up clueless along with her.

"Hey, you can sleep more if you want," I say as I lift my head up, yawning. We still have half an hour left.

"I'm so sorry!" Asil says, blushing. It's the first time I she speaks loud enough for me to hear her voice. It's low like mine but girly at the same time. I want to hear it more.

"You're silly. It's not like it was anything bad," I grin. She smiles and for the first time in a long while, I sincerely smile back.