Ashes- Zayn Malik AU

Chapter 4

I'm exhausted. From everything. My mind is a whirlwind and I feel like I'm sinking deeper into my own subconscious that one day I will hit rock bottom and won't know how to swim back up.

What day is it? I never kept track anymore. Nothing seemed real. Not since my dad left for reasons that my mom kept secret. That he also kept secret. Didn't I have the right to know? I, being their daughter deserved the truth. I've asked my mom but she said "we're still investigating". What was that supposed to even mean?

Everyday I thought of possibilities, but I never came to a conclusion that was logical. Other than my dad and my crazy ex my life has been the same routine. It has been getting on my nerves. My friends say I'm lucky that I have great parents.  Or at least, used to. My grades are doing okay. Instead of having straight A's I've gone to A's B's and C's. My friends don't know because I haven't told them.  I didn't want to destroy their image of me. I didn't want to give them false hope that after what I saw that day I'd be myself again. Wrong. I would never be completely myself. I wouldn't be looking up the newest famous band or doing my hair or going to hangouts. No, none of that was Valerie anymore.

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I sat in English class the next morning. My eyes could barely stay open. I hadn't slept well last night it was certainly taking it's toll. Out of the corner of my eye I see Zayn sit on the other side of the room. I try not to look his way. Going against my will I sneak glance at him. I'm curious. He's an exotic creature in the midst of extraordinarily ordinary people.  He has his hair quiffed up a bit to the side. Just as I'm about to look away Zayn glances at me and our eyes lock. His eyes are still holding mine and I'm not sure who's gonna break eye contact first. I turn my gaze back to the teacher as she gives us partners for our English assignment.

"Okay everyone. I want you to get the hang of writing about other people. I will put you in pairs. each one of you will draw a name out of the hat being passed around and that will be your partner for the remainder of the school year." She passed out rubrics for the project row by row.

My eyes landed on the black top hat in front of me. Please let it be someone I don't remotely hate. I close my eyes and reach for a paper.  When I unravel it my heart sinks. It's Zayn Malik.

My eyes dart to him and I realize I actually have to get up there and tell him that we're partners. I close my eyes. Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale. Don't get upset Val. If he days something unintelligent, smile.

As I make my way over across the class I know he knows I'm coming. The smile playing on his lips hides nothing. He's enjoying this! That jerk!

"It looks like we're partners..."

He nods his searching my face. "You cool with that?"

I force a smile. "No."

He laughs. "Good, because I am." The bell rings and he stands up to leave. "I'll see you tonight Valerie."

Tonight?

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A/N: this was slow. Have lots of tests and finals are coming up. It'll get better once I don't have writer's block due to that. Bear with me:)

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