She just cant!

Situations,feelings, YOU

Being alone. Its an amazing thing but hard. Sometimes you have to give yourself time. You are also allowed to spare some time for yourself. You can also be sad or laugh alone. She was alone. All day. Didn't talk or did anything. Yeah a few times by chance she was with her friends so yeah she faked her laugh as usual, talked to them but then slowly-slowly just disappeared again. She walked alone. She wasn't sad or depressed or yeah maybe she was sad. Maybe, She was trying to figure out things. She also doesn't know why she was alone. Everyday, every moment she is alone. She doesn't have anyone. Even if she is standing and is with her friends. She talks to them, walk with them and fakes her laugh and crack silly, stupid jokes but today she was just alone. Away from everyone. she just didn't want to be with anyone. She was just walking and walking. Maybe she was expecting something or thinking its time to just give up or was planning something. Today wasn't a good day. She was quite.

Things happened as usual. He show up suddenly and she just went by his side. She didn't look back. No she didn't. Maybe yeah now she learned to really live without seeing. This thought made her smile as in she wasn't happy knowing this but she thought but then they crossed each other again and secretly she saw. She broke all over again. All her happiness with sadness was now total sadness. Not because she saw him but because she realized she will never move on and he will never come back . But the thought that she cant move on is good too as she doesn't know Maybe today or tomorrow or after a week he just shows himself. We cant say.

Maybe he wants to come just now but he is too scared. Maybe he knows that he broke her. Not because they are not in love anymore but because he ended every single relation. She cant trust anymore , she doesn't smile frequently, she cries more , she doesn't care whatever is going on. He is scared. See now he has to suffer a bit to get her back but maybe he just gave up without even trying.

After all this She doesn't know why she is still holding on, she doesn't know why she still cares when something bad happened to him. When while playing or running he slips . It hurts him but her too. She doesn't even know that it's worth this much pain or not. She never expected her to be in this kind of place.

Things just change right?. One minute u r talking to a person, he is telling u things, stories and the other minute he just ends everything with you giving a stupid excuse. One minute he is talking to u like normally the other minute he says I love you and proposes you. Before they used to die to see each other now they don't want to see each other. She wasn't a girl who just says I love you. She wasn't the one who will just express her feeling, pour her heart out to you. Well, things change time to time, sometimes you accept the change fast, sometimes slowly and sometimes you just don't.

After all of this now she has decided to just avoid him because see somewhere deep inside she will never move on its soo true but she should prepare herself for a kind off outcome which she never hoped.

It hurts when you are really going through something which is killing and you act like it doesn't effect you at all. And the person you wanted to be with you at these kind off times is the only one who puts you in a situation like this.