Trigger

Chapter 4

Chapter 4

   I walk out of my house heading to the bus stop. It had been a week since the last killing. The last was the girl. Her parents come home and they found their week old dead child. It was the talk of the school, everyone was getting scared. They didn't want to be next.

   I stand at the bus stop. All week for some reason the anger inside of me was boiling up. It felt like all the anger was going to over flow. The blood craving has also come back and it is as bad as ever. Every scent caught. Every heart beat. Every breath is driving me closer and closer to the edge. I'm about to fall off the side. My guilt was the only thing that was holding me back from spilling more blood. I didn't want to spill anymore blood. No. Not because of me. It was so hard though. So hard to hold myself back. On many cases I was trying to hold myself back so hard I broke out and started sweating really bad.

   The mirror had been replaced as well. Everything was back to normal. Everything but the fact that one student was not coming back. She would never walk through these halls again. Nobody knew that till the end of the week though. Nobody but me.

   The bus pulls up and I trip on the last step of the stairs. The bus driver slightly laughs but then he asked if I'm okay. I don't reply back and make my way to the back. James is in my seat again. Of course again I sit in front of him. I breathe in and out to keep myself from spilling over and ripping his skin off and most likely everyone on this bus. I keep myself calm though and look out the window, watching the trees pass by in a blur.

   I close my eyes and feel the warm sun on my face. I feel calm and safe. I don't feel alone and mistreated. I feel wonderful, but the feeling soon ends because we pull up to the school and I have to open my eyes and get up.

   I jump off the bus and walk into the school. Still feeling calm but not as much as I did on the bus. The sun is now shinning on my back. It's still warm but I like it on my face better then my back. The best part is that I'm wearing a plain black shirt so the sun is beating down on me. I don't mind I may be more attracted to the night, but I still love the sun.

   I walk through the doors of school. Again not a scratch on me so I walk through the court yard and sit myself down on a red brick wall. The bricks are warm under me. The sun was beating down on them before I sat down. Now the sun is beating down on my back. Again. That's why I sat here though. Cause of the sun. I close my eyes again. Feeling that same feeling I felt on the bus. I daydream about I don't even know what and the bell rings waking me from an unknown daydream. I rub my eyes and hop off the wall.

   I walk to class still enjoying the sun and all its warmth. It feels great. A feeling I would love to touch me for the rest of my life, but no. It wouldn't last forever. That thought made me sad, but I shrug it off. It didn't matter how I felt.

   A thought comes to me. Just like it didn't matter what they felt like when they died. When I killed them. The guilt nags at me. Trying to pull me under the water. The water that you can never get out of. I couldn't let that happen. I couldn't put my guard down. I had to keep fighting, but it was becoming so hard. If I went under it ment blood spilling on the floor. Because I would lose my grip on my wolf and my craving.

   My wolf perks up at the thought of blood. I push him back down. Push. Push. Push. He's fighting back. I'm having trouble holding him back. He keeps pulling me. He's bringing me to the water. To throw me under. I fight and I fight. He keeps pulling.

   "No!" I scream at him, "can't you see it's bad, don't go! Don't make me go!" I am begging him just like the boy begged me. My wolf doesn't listen he just keeps pulling me. He didn't listen just as I didn't listen to the boy when he was begging. I didn't listen to any of them. All that I killed, and now I'm paying the price.