baby - e. dolan

i

"fuck, you're gorgeous, ally." he murmurs, looking up at the sky. i turn my head, staring at his jawline and the outline of him in the light of the moon and dim street lamp.

when he catches me, he smiles, and i lean forward to kiss my boyfriend. i end up moving and straddling his lap, kissing his neck like i wouldn't stop.

a few weeks later, i took five pregnancy tests before i really believed it.

i find myself sitting on the cold bathroom floor, the empty boxes sitting in front of me, opened and flattened. i grab my phone weakly off the bathroom sink, clicking my boyfriend's contact.

i put the phone to my ear, biting at my nails as i got his voicemail.

"it's ethan. you know what to do." the phone beeps and then i record my message.

"hey....b-babe. wanna call me back? i love you." i hang up, clutching the phone in my hands. that's when i begin to cry. i was now that girl in high school who got pregnant at 17.

the girl i was warned not to become by my parents. i was scared to death to tell my parents.

i was their only child. the only one they'd ever have, and i completely ruined it. when my phone rang loudly, my hands began shaking.

"ally? what's up? your message didn't sound too happy." i take a deep breath.

"remember the parking lot night?" i ask with nerves building up. that's what we've called it since it happened.

did we have protection? no, not necessarily, but he assured me that nothing would happen. i believed him.

"yeah....you're scaring me."

"i messed up." i cry out, my voice shaky.

"oh baby, i'm coming over." before i got a chance to protest, he hung up. of course he was on his way over here.

my parents are probably sitting in the kitchen, discussing business meetings and drinking black coffee like usual, wondering what i'm doing.

i sit there, against the cold porcelain of the toilet, waiting to hear a knock on the door and my boyfriend's voice following it.

but, instead of that, my mother burst through the door, and shut it as soon as she came in.

"you can't be serious." is all she says before i look her in the eyes, tears forming in mine, just at the brink of flowing down my cheeks. her gaze scans the boxes on the floor, the spots of puke remaining on the toilet seat, and then finally, land on me.

"how long?"

"i just...found out....a f-few hours ago." i choke out.

"oh, don't play that innocent game with me. do you realize what this going to do to your father and my reputations? and what it's going to do to us?!"

"i know." i say quietly, looking to the floor.

god, ethan, where are you?

i count the seconds in my head, reaching a minute before she spoke again.

"i don't think you do, allyson. i won't tell your father right now, that's up to you, but i am very disappointed in you." with that, my mother turns and walks out of the bathroom, leaving me with my thoughts.