Lloyd x Reader

PLEASE READ EVERYTHING!

So, let me tell you whats going 1st before I explain how Im taking it ok. Its quiet in my house for the 1st time this whole summer because my little brother is gone for a week at my uncle's house,my brother Austin is asleep,brother gavin went out with his friend & girlfriend & my stepsister is in her room most likely asleep. Today started off pretty good, watched some shows I needed to watch & a few I just watched because everyone else wanted to watch them & I was playing pokemon sun & trying to complete the pokedex with what pokemon I can get in my game till I borrow my brother's pokemon moon to help me complete it. We got done with things half n hour ago so I started to chill in my room working on a request when I heard the worst news I can possibly recieve ever.Well I more like over heard my brother talking about it. My mom has this blood clot in her brain that grows & shrinks randomly & she has 2 strokes now. She has a feeling that she might pass away soon.......She told Gavin that only,he,my brother Austin & my dad are allowed to go to Illinois to get her stuff & bring it here.......1. I dont want her to die,2. I cant handle it if she dies,3. I wont be able to handle it if I dont go with them to get her stuff & 4. I cant handle a 5th death in my family this year! Death 4 was an Aunt of my mother's that I didnt know at all so it doesnt hurt me as much but the others hurt me alot. It will hurt me a lot more if my mom dies!
Now,this is whats been going on since I heard it:
I was shaking badly,my heart skipped a beat, I instantly hugged my knees & cried silently for 5 minutes,calmed down enough to start writing this,& I keep crying,Im having a hard time breath,I cant think & I feel like Im going to burst out crying to the point I wont be able to breath soon...... can someone please help me calm down & to take my mind off things please!

all books will be on hold till next Tuesday because I need time to calm down & to try & keep my mind off this & from the 21st to the 24th Ill be on a family trip so that will help