Desperate Measures

Chapter 24 - Interview 4

The Quibbler, June Edition, Monday, June16, 1997

Current Count of Suitors: 31

Harry Potter Finishes Round Three!

Read the exclusive interview with our very own Mr. Xenophilius Lovegood!

Our fourth interview with Mr. Harry Potter covers the results of his third round of testing. This will be our last interview with Mr. Potter as he wishes to keep private the details of the remainder of his courtships. We thank Mr. Potter for this opportunity and honor of being the official reporters of his courtships and wish Mr. Potter a bright future and a happy family. Below you will find our conversation that took place in Hogwarts' Great Hall the morning of Sunday, June 15th.

LG:"Good morning, Harry."

HP:"Good morning, sir. How are you today?"

LG:"I am well, thank you. And who is with you today?"

HP:"These are my friends Neville Longbottom, Hermione Granger, and Lavender Cadbury nee Brown."

LG:"Good morning ladies and gentleman."

F:"Good morning." "Good morning, sir." "Good morning, Mr. Lovegood."

HP:"They're here to help clear up what really happened the night of May 3rd. I'd like to cover that in depth, if you don't mind."

LG:"Of course not. Would you like to start with that?"

HP:"That's not necessary. I thought we'd start like usual. You know, going over the numbers."

LG:"I have to admit I'm quite curious how you managed to go from 352 suitors to only 31. You mentioned in our last interview that you thought quite a number would be eliminated for magic incompatibility. Was that truly the case?"

HP:"Yes, it was. I eliminated 76 for that reason.

LG:"That leaves...276. Funny how that number works out."

HP:(chuckle) "It is. I hadn't noticed before. But then, I didn't keep track the same way."

LG:"That's about twenty percent right there. Did you have problems with those that were incompatible? Did they get angry?"

HP:"Some of them were angry, but most were understanding."

LG: "I'm glad to hear that. So what was your first test after checking for compatibility? I presume you did that first?"

HP:"I did, yes. My tests were all worked into our conversations, so none of them can really be labeled as first or second or whatnot. I'll just go through them? No particular order?"

LG:"Certainly, certainly."

HP:"All right. One was how my suitor viewed my parseltongue ability. I deliberately spoke a phrase in parseltongue at some point during our conversation. Everyone that reacted negatively was eliminated."

LG:"That's generally considered a dark gift."

HP:(snort) "I don't care. I can speak to snakes. Big deal. It doesn't mean that I'm all of a sudden evil incarnate, you know. I'm still me. And speaking to snakes is simply a gift – it's not inherently dark or light in any way. I am not going to hide a part of myself away just because someone has some weird notions about evil wicked snakes or some such."

LG:"So you eliminated anyone who didn't accept you as yourself?"

HP:"Exactly."

LG:"How many?"

HP:"A total of 32 for that reason."

LG:"That leaves...244."

HP:"All right."