Somewhere in Between

Desire

S-
Dark.
My life is dark and it's just the way I like it. I'm not your average fucked up teen you see who tries to recreate tumblr posts and acts all cool. I'm just the teen who's chill and doesn't give a fuck. My parents fight, abuse me, I harm myself and that's just life.

I wouldn't want it any other way.

At some point I did but that faded away because I just turned 16 and my life has been shit since I turned 5. It all started after my mom tried to kill her self and everyone told me everything was going to be fine and I knew it wasn't. Nothing has ever been okay for me.

I've been cursed from the start. That's how my life is and will always be- I finally accepted it and there's no use in changing that. I've never felt love, I've never felt any type of connection and I don't expect to. I'm not the type to kill myself or anything- my life is shit but I'm stronger than what's around me. I just harm myself because it's the only way I can give myself something I know I deserve.

Anyways enough with the sap shit. Let me tell you the normal stuff about myself. I'm 6'2, I take care of my body, I have wavy-straight brown hair, I'm actually kinda cool in school so I'm not the freak you'd expect me to be after my little introduction, I like dick, I'm going into my sophomore year in 2 days and I'm happy about going back to school because I get to finally breathe again.

My parents make it impossible to have a good mood in my house- I'm always locked in my room and drown myself to my music. Sometimes I go out to parties and drink and smoke weed until I forget the shit life I have. I don't expect myself to ever have a good life or anything but it's okay to daydream.

My phone started to ring and I checked the caller ID- it was Kelsey my bestfriend and the only person who really knows about my life.

" what's up dude " I said to her once I picked up the phone.

" there's a party tonight that I'm going to and I will drag you out that room if I have to- but you're going to join me and you're going to meet someone tonight. You have no choice. Bye! " she screamed in the phone and hanged up before I could even say a word.

Knowing her I knew she was capable of dragging me so I decided to just get ready until she got to my house. I have no idea why she wants me to meet someone. There's no way anyone would ever want to date me if they really knew how my life was behind closed doors. Plus I'm emotionally unavailable.

I decided to wear a loose dark green stussy shirt with some ripped black jeans, a black bomber and some black retro 11's. Yeah your basic fuckboy outfit- everything purchased by myself of course because the last thing my parents bought me were some pills and told me to end it all. Nice family memories. As soon as I turn 17 I plan on getting an apartment with Kelsey since she will be 18 by the time I turn 17. That will be amazing- and then maybe my life won't be so shitty.

You might be wondering how come I don't act weird in school or anything considering how I grew up with and continue to grow up with. I just want a change. I may fake having an amazing life or whatever but at least I get to feel some sort of happiness once I'm not around the negativity. I get to breathe- I get to be something more than afraid.

** come out I'm waiting outside for you. This will be the best end of summer party ever. **
Flashed on my home screen and this was of course from Kelsey.

I walked out my front door passing my parents that were passed out in the living room- to drunk to ever notice me unless they wanted to hurt me of course or get something for their own benefit.

" get yo ass in the car now bitch " Kelsey said to me.

" listen up now you rat. Ain't no one going to call me a bitch " I said to her. Chuckling.

" so how are things in the house ? " she said.

" same as always. They leave the house to work and come home to drink and smoke and be shitty. And well me I'm just eh " I said to her.

" well shawny boy today is your night and you will forget about all the shit and have fun " she said.

" whatever you say captain kels " I said to her smiling.

She started to drive towards to the party who I found out our friend Lia was throwing. She's cool- really chill and aesthetically pleasing. She's one of my close friends too but like everyone else she doesn't know about my dysfunctional family.

We arrived at Lia's house in about 20 minutes and found parking not to far from the house. We walked into the really bright house with drunk teens everywhere and decorations on the floor. Some greeted me as I walked in and some just continued to do whatever they were doing.

" Shawn I'll be back I'm going to go talk to Jack but I'll be quick. Go have fun and do not leave " Kelsey told me as she walked away.

I decided to just get a mini water and walk outside to the backyard where people were in the pool or sitting around the fire. It was an amazing party- basically everyone came. Even some new students for this year were in the party. Crazy.

I ended up where the garden was and I saw this guy there I've never met- and for some reason I really wanted to talk to him. He wasn't alone though- there was at least 6 more people there and I found myself walking towards them once I saw a familiar face which was Nash.

" hey Nash " I said

" what's up Shawn " Nash said very excitedly to me and gave me a bro hug.

He said some other things that I didn't hear because I was staring so deep into this stranger's eyes. He smirked and took a sip from his drink in the red cup.

For some reason I felt strange..
I felt some desire.

A/N
Dude it's been forever since I updated my other books and I know people still read them but I wanted something fresh. Plus I was to lazy to go fix my errors in my other books or publish some old ones so I decided to write a new book since I'm kinda better at it. Anyways I hope you liked it. Another shameron book !! Please vote and comment and tell your friends, family, loved ones, pets, local stores, and basically anything to come read my book.