Just Some Pathetic Thoughts

July 20th, 2017

I'm just your typical girl.
The one who grew up playing dress up, pretending it was her wedding day. All the stuffed animals were lined up perfectly, each of their glazed over, plastic eyes staring up at me admirably. The invisible tea was poured, the imaginary satin aisle laid unruffled, like it hadn't once been touched, and the pillows were stacked five high, representing each layer of cake that would be distributed to each of the guests.
I was the one who began actual wedding planning at age 10. I had my dress picked out, my color scheme arranged, and my venue chosen and decorated. It was like I was engaged already, and I was eager to just experience the day that every little girl dreams of. The day where two hearts are tied together eternally, where a promise is made that that special person would be her lifetime partner. Through sickness and health, the two hearts are bonded.
All I was missing was my special life partner. All I wanted was to find him and experience my day that I had worked on for so long. When was I going to find him?
Maybe I already had.
Years later, here I am.
Same ole wedding plan. Same ole dress. Same ole venue.
But now I know who my guy is. I know who I am supposed to be with and I know how life is supposed to go. It's unfortunate it can never be that way.