I'm His

12

Chance hangs up the phone, shoulders squaring up. I'm still in shock, unsure of what to do next, until I realize...I can't just stay here. Running back to the bed, I throw myself under the covers just as Chance walks back in. "Oh. You were quick." I nod.

"Yeah." I don't say anything else, heart hammering in my chest. I want to scream-! What was all that talk about honor and power?What happened to the rules? What happened to not pushing things, to staying safe, to not squashing other gangs or angering Giovanni? And then, feeling slightly sick, my own words come back to haunt me. 'The rules suck, and they were made to be broken. What kind of criminal are you?'

My whole body is cold as Chance climbs back into bed with me, arms around me as he kisses the back of my neck. "I just want to grab the whole world and say 'this is all for you.'" 'If Chance gets into trouble because of this, it'll be all for me! But I don't want him to risk his life, the lives of his gang, just to prove he can be powerful!' "You're quiet, baby. You okay?" I frown to myself.

"I don't know." I reply, not knowing what else to say.

"Tired, probably. Let's get some sleep. Busy day tomorrow, after all." My frown deepens.

"Busy for the gang, you mean?" Chance pauses, not responding. I can almost feel the calculations, him wondering if I knew, and then summarily dismissing it.

"I don't know what they're up to. I know you and I are going fishing." I ball my hands into fists.

"Really?" I pull away from him, sitting up in bed, feeling sick. "So why were you outside just now?" Chance is still resting there, arms open as though frozen. Waiting for me to come back.

"...I had a phone call." I narrow my eyes.

"With who?" Chance's face had been soft, tired. The vulnerable face he only shares with me. And then, like frost over a window, it's slowly covered up by the mask.

"Why ask questions you obviously already know the answer to?" I take a step back, pulse thundering, blood thrumming just under the skin. For the first time in a long time, I feel afraid of Chance.

"Because I want to hear it from your mouth."

"Catch me in a lie, you mean." My brows furrow and my lips purse in a thin line.

"Were you going to tell me the truth if I hadn't?" Chance sits up, a snarl on his lips.

"Of course not." That angry tone makes me snap, fury outweighing any fear I have.

"Of course not?! Because it makes your life so much more pleasant if you just screw around with me and lie to me?! I guess that's what you meant by me being something that doesn't come easy to you!" My chest heaves in tune with my angry breathing.

"That's not what I meant." Chance gets to his feet, hands balled into fists. Stepping towards him, I meet his gaze, trembling, but not afraid anymore.

"So when you told me you were done, and that you wouldn't push Giovanni anymore or try to squash other gangs-! That was just to keep me quiet? Obedient? Like everyone else in your life?" My face is blank, and I do my best to keep it that way.

"No...no. Listen to me. It's not like that." He breaks away, arms crossed, one hand over his face so that he doesn't have to look at me. 

"Hey, I'm standing right here! I'm not going to go away if you ignore me. If you're going to tug me around like a toy, at least own up to it. So look me in the eye when you lie to me again." Chance doesn't respond, just keeping still as a statue. Finally, when he speaks, it's between nervous, grit teeth.