America the Mysterious (United States of America #1.5)

When I Fade

*Requested by HetalianSkywalker*

Prussia knew he was anything but a pure man. Oh no, he was anything but. He had killed, tortured, the list goes on and on. And there was never a day that he never regretted what he had done, but none more so than what he had foolishly done to his former trainee.

Whenever America looked at him, she would treat him with the utmost respect, but her tone was always so cold and distant, and it was always a struggle on Prussia's part to not flinch. He knew that he acted arrogant and condescending, but he took what he did to America too far. He had forgotten that she was still a child compared to him, and yet, she had seen too much for her age.

She had become a mother at such a young age.

And she was the mother of his daughter.

When he first met Pennsylvania, Prussia had been terrified. Of all the times he thought he knew America, he never knew that he fathered a child with her, and just...learning that he was a father of a beautiful physically teenage daughter caused his heart to stop.

And Juliette was everything he wasn't: she was patient, looked underneath the underneath, and loved her mother and siblings. She represented everything Prussia had failed, and that hurt.

But none more so than what was waiting to happen to him.

He was a dissolved nation, which means that, sooner or later, he would fade out of existence, just like the Ancients had before him. Sometimes Prussia found himself checking the seconds that had just passed, knowing that each one was counting down the last moments of his life, but what scared him the most was that he didn't know when it was going to happen. It could happen the next second, the next minute, the next hour, or perhaps longer.

All Prussia knew was that his time was running out, and he needed to do a couple of things before that time came.

So he started to look for America.

~~~

She stared at him, expression void of any emotion but her body tense, like she was waiting for him to pounce on her. Before, Prussia was aware that before they discovered her real identity and her children, she truly didn't care about them, but now that they knew, she was more tense than before, but Prussia understood.

Because now that the nations knew of her children, America feared that they would do something horrible to them, and Prussia knew they had done nothing positive to America for her to reconsider her thoughts on them.

But he wasn't here for that.

"Jou see, don't jou?" he asked.

America said nothing.

"Jou know zhat I'm fading, don't jou?"

America nodded. "It's not that hard to see," she replied. "But are you expecting me to do something about that?"

Prussia shook his head. "Nein, it's too late for me anyway."

"But there's something you want from me." It wasn't a question.

Prussia nodded. "Ja. I know zhat I'm not exactly close to Juliette, but I don't vant to leave zhis vorld vithout telling her somezhing."

America's eyes widened for a moment, and even though it was gone just as quickly, Prussia knew what he saw.

In fact, his eyes were starting to burn. "Amerika." He took a deep breath. "I just vanted to say...zhat I'm sorry for everyzhing. I'm sorry for not being zhere for jou vhen jou needed a friend. I'm sorry for forcing jou to go into hiding, and I'm sorry for being one of zhe sole causes of harm to jour children. I know it's too late, but I just vanted jou to hear zhat."

America was frowning now. Then she opened her mouth. "What are you really trying to say Prussia?"

"That you not tell Juliette of my passing."

Now her eyes widened again, this time staying for a long period of time. "Why?"

Prussia smiled sadly. "It's quite obvious; I vas never zhere vhile she grew up or vhen she vas born. She doesn't really need me now, and I doubt zhat she ever has. But still, I don't vant her to be upset vhen zhe time comes. 

America looked like she wanted to say something, but the words wouldn't come forth. She was still frowning, but Prussia thought he saw a hint of tears in her eyes.

"Zhat's all I came here to tell jou Amerika, but remember, I'm sorry for vhat I've done, and I von't blame jou if jou don't forgive me. I deserve it after all." He then nodded his head to her. "Danke for jour time."

He then left America standing there, and he didn't dare look back, because he knew if he did, he would beg America to actually tell Juliette of his incoming fate.

But he wouldn't do that.

He was cruel to a lot of people, but he refused to be cruel to his own daughter. She didn't need to know of this, even though it hurt.

But he also didn't stay long enough to hear America's next words.

"You goddamn fool." She stared at the door he just exited from with sadness. "Why didn't you say this to me a long time ago? And why did you have to tell me this? Juliette's the one who should hear those words, not me. So why?"

Of course, Prussia would never answer those questions, not that America was expecting them anyway.