Let's Call it Hope [EN]

Chapter 4

~ Abigail Griffin ~

I'm shaking. I'm laying on the ground, in the dirt. I'm unclean. I'm cold. Someone's yelling far away. I wake up difficultly. Everything's blurred, and the wold seems colorless. I lean on a tree and try to walk. Once again, a shout. I'm alone. I walk in the forest, without knowing where I'm going. The yell, again. It seems closer. I run. And suddenly, I fall down. I collapse on the ground. My leg hurts me. I put my hand on my bloody thigh. There's a hole here. In my leg. A drill hole. Mount Weather's drill hole. I shout in pain. I can't contain the tears in my eyes. I turn to the yells, crawling I get get closer. I shake my teeth, trying to forget the pain. I arrive at the top of the hill, and I see them.

Clarke. She's crying. Her face's burning.

Marcus. Hanging on a cross. Blood's running out of his wrists.

A rope is suspended at a branch. Waiting to hang someone.

A grounder. His body's totally burned. He's standing in front of a glass box.

Behind, a hundred teenagers are looking at me with an unmatched hatred.

I abandoned Clarke out-there.

I used Marcus and I made him suffer under the chip.

I hanged myself to force Clarke to take the chip.

I tested nightblood on an innocent to try to save us all, I killed him.

I sent a hundred children on a planet I knew nothing about. I sentenced them to death.

Suddenly, I open my eyes. A bright white light blind me. It's hot. I am sweating. Marcus is holding my hand. I can hear Olivia speaking, but I can't understand what she says. Marcus' lips are moving, but I can't hear a sound. I'm laying on a bed in MedBay. I can't breath...

And the total black.

Again, I can hear Clarke yelling...

The oxygen seems to enter at once in my lungs.

- I'm right here Abby... Calm down...

Marcus is here. He is here. He caresses slowly my hair. I resume my spirits.

- You're having a crisis Ab', because of the chip... I beg you, please, we have the solution... Don't let yourself dying...

I can't answer him. As soon as I close my eyes I see all of their faces.

- Abby, in your sleep you were shouting, you were struggling. I can't let you suffering like that...

I take a deep breath.

- I killed them... All of them...

- Hey, Ab', look at me. We've all committed crimes. We've all killed. I'm here, I'm going to help you. You'll get through this. Earth changes us, you know that.

I nod.

- I beg you Abby, tell me that I'm a sufficient reason to live, he murmurs.

I look deep inside his eyes. He's so worried. He loves me... He's still here.

- Yes... You're a sufficient reason to everything Marcus. I love you...

He kisses me, delighted. I turn to Octavia.

- I give you my agreement. I want to get rid of these visions.

- Try to sleep a little, your body will be faced with unusual conditions, orders Octavia.