jeff the killer x reader

11:confessions

trigger warning: self harm in this chapter

its really sad like,  cried probably cause its 11: 52 :P

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Jeff's eyes widened from their sad and tired look. he opened his mouth to speak, however, all that escaped his smile was silence. "H-how could you ever like someone like me? I'm a fucking monster...all I've ever done was hurt people. why me?"

you held his face with your hands. "Nonono, Jeff. you aren't a monster. you are a person with feelings. It's oka-"

"THEN EXPLAIN ALL THE PEOPLE I KILLED. IS THAT OKAY?! EXPLAIN MY PHYSICAL APPEARANCE! IS IT NORMAL?! EXPLAIN IT ALL ME." he yelled. you never took  loud noises and sudden outbursts well, and soon enough, your eyes started to fill with tears. "DON'T EVEN FUCKING CRY BITCH. YOU KNOW THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME. YOU KNOW I BELONG IN A MENTAL HOSPITAL." at this point, Jeff started twitching and he sat up to grab  his converse. Smile looked  up at him and then at you "I'LL BE RIGHT FUCKING BACK." he said still yelling. he then slammed the door with such force that you felt it from your bed. this gave you the clear to cry and let out all your emotions.

Smile dog looked up at you and got up from the trundle and onto the bed. he licked your face and nuzzled you, in an attempt to make you feel better. "heh. thanks smile...." you said attempting to wipe your tears away, only for them to be replaced by new ones. The husky then placed his face in your lap, allowing you to pet him. You gave him a small smile with sobs mixed in. soon, however, you gave in to his puppy eyes and pet his fluffy face.

things stayed like that for an hour until you heard you back door close. your eyes started to tear up once more,waking the sleeping dog. Smile knew exactly what was going on and  stood up tall. Footsteps were heard on your stairs as the smell of blood went throughout your house. The husky started to growl until the door to your room opened. there stood Jeff, covered in blood... but it wasn't splattered like it was when he first went out.  Instead, it seemed to go from the inside of his hoodie, out in straight lines across his torso.  You and smile stopped being afraid and angry. Tears of fear turned into tears of concern. "Jeff?" you asked because he was never this quiet. he  looked at you with his head down. he seemed to be crying as well, along with small blood splatters on his face. "Jeff, take off your hoodies." he looked at you and at his worried dog before sighing and taking off his hoodies, revealing even more marks on his tee shirt. His eyes stared to tear up more as he tried to cover the stains. "take off the tee, Jeff." he shook his head, not wanting to show you. you got up and yanked it off of him. deep cuts trailed along his body and some were still bleeding.

Then Jeff  started to sob, causing you to cry as well. you remembered how you sometimes hurt yourself and you really felt like doing it again. It felt like it was your fault, you should't have done that. (i had to get SOME CP reference in here.) and by that, you meant that you shouldn't have asked about your feelings. you unlocked your top dresser  drawer  and grabbed a razor blade. 

You bolted for the bathroom. you locked the door behind you and went over to the white sink, and looked into the mirror as you turned on the water. you looked into the mirror once more and cut.

~~~~~~~~~~~30 minute time skip brought to you by you beautiful people~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

you walked into the room with bandages over your arms. Jeff was facing away from you and smile looked sad on the trundle. before stepping over the dog, you pet him and got into your bed  you still didn't look at Jeff, even though it was probably the last time you would see him. Things lasted like that for hours until you could hear the birds. neither you or Jeff got any sleep.

"listen, (Y/N), none of this is your fault. i'm sorry I started yelling at you. im sorry for making you do things to your self. and honestly, I don't want to leave. but if you want me to, i understand..."

you still felt guilty. "Jeff, it's my fault i asked the question... to be honest you couldn't help it. you've been lied to countless times...im sorry i triggered tha-"

"it's nobodies fault. it happened and its in the past. okay?" the room got quiet, once again until jeff sighed "(Y/N)?...I know you aren't happy right now, but im gonna just say something, and please don't be mad.i just thought you deserved better than me. either way....i-I love you too."

you quickly rolled over to look him in the eyes. they looked tired and hopeless. "Jeff. y-yo do?" he nodded before leaning in you threw your arms around his neck. Tears of joy and relief cascaded down your face as Jeff hugged back. he moved away from your shoulder and wiped your tears away with his hands. you got lost in his eyes, those beautiful, pale blue eyes. (LISTEN. IN THIS BOOK THEY ARE BLUE NOT EFFIN BLACK AND WHITE.)   you were looking into them until they started to close.

 you then realized that he was inching closer and closer...and you were too. you never kissed a soul, except your mum of course, but not like this. you were freaking out until you noticed...it was done. his lips were on your lips creating a passionate, yet quick kiss, which you soon melted into. he pulled away, causing both of your eyes to open. you laughed while he hid is face in between your shoulder and the pillow,  giving you small (smol) kisses on your neck,(not like.....hickies, jeebus) helping you go to sleep.......at 6 am. whoopsies. you decided it was best if you got SOME rest, but there was one more question you needed to know. "hey Jeff?" he lifted his face from his previous spot. "boyfriend, girlfriend?"

he smiled and replied, " yeah.... boyfriend, girlfriend."

you grinned and guided his face to it's nook. "good."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ YAAASSSSS i was so excited to write this chapter so here it is! also,  I wanted to thank you guys so much for your support. don't forget to vote and comment. recommend this book to your fellow CP fans.

Also, fellow Linkin Park fans, Chester will never be forgotten.

  What do I do to ignore them behind me?
Do I follow my instincts blindly?
Do I hide my pride from these bad dreams?
And give in to sad thoughts that are maddening?
Do I sit here and try to stand it?
Or do I try to catch them red-handed?
Do I trust some and get fooled by phoniness,
Or do I trust nobody and live in loneliness?
Because I can't hold on when I'm stretched so thin
I make the right moves but I'm lost within
I put on my daily facade but then
I just end up getting hurt again
By myself