Info And Questions And Crap

Boot to the head....(Idfk)

Phil-
As the executor of Mr. Kjellburge's esate, I have been empowered to read Mr. Kjellburge's will and testimony....

Tyler-
Well get on with it, the bar is opening soon...

Jack-
Oh poor dear Felix! *sobbs*

Mark-
Oh there, there jackaboy...*hugs jack*

Dan-
God how predictably boring...*sighs*

Ethan-
I never helped a finer man...*Tyler gives Ethan a cold stare* What!?

Phil-
If we're all seated I shall proceed with the reading...

Dan-
I knew it...

*Tyler chuckles*

Phil-
"I, Felix Kjellberg being of sound, mind, and body-"

Tyler-
That's a laugh! *chuckles*

Phil-
"Due hereby divide up my considerable estate as follows, to my overly emotional friend Seán-"

*Jack crys louder*

Mark-
Jacky darling he's talking about us.

*Jack stops crying*

Jack-
Oh...

Phil-
"Who grubbed up with her husband mark, grub for everything they could take from me, and cried crocodile tears when I needed sympathy..."

Jack-
What!?

*Phil smirks*

Phil-
"To Jacky I leave....A boot to the head..."

Jack-
A what!?

*Jack gets hit in the head with a boot*

Jack-
OW!

Mark-
Jack! Are you ok!?

Phil- *smirks* "And another one to his wimpy husband mark..."

*Boot gets thrown at marks head*

Mark-
OW!

*Tyler chuckles*

Jack-
This is a fookin outrage!

Phil-
"Ah, but still you are my best friend, you've both admired my roles, and since I'm no longer needed-"

Jack-
Oh dear Felix here, is way too kind!

Phil-
*smiles like a crazy person* "I bequeath another boot to the head..."

Jack-
What!? *Boot hits Jack's head* OW!
*falls of chair And slowly stands up*

*Tyler laughs*

Phil-
*creepy smile* "and on more for the whimp!"

*mark gets hit with a boot*

Mark-
OW!!!

Phil-
"NEXT! To my alcoholic friend-"

Tyler-
Hey, I don't want no boot to the head...

Phil-
"To dear Tyler who has never worked a day in his drunken life-"

Tyler-
*Covers his head* I'm covering up my head!

Phil-
"I leave my whine seller and 3 crates of my finest whiskeys..."

Tyler-
*uncovers head* really?!

Phil-
*phycopath smile* "AND a boot to the head!"

*boot hits Tyler's face*

Tyler-
Ow!

Phil-
*keeps the psychotic smile*
"And another one to Jacky and the whimp!"

*Jack and mark gets hit with a boot*

Mark and jack-
OW!

Phil-
*smile fades* "NEXT, to my know it all friend Dan-"

Dan-
This is so predictable...*rolls eyes*

Phil-
*smirk* "I leave...a boot to the head..."

*Boot hits Dan's face*

Dan-
OW! I KNEW IT!

Phil-
*creepy smile* "And one for Jacky and the whimp!"

Jack- *Boot hits him*
OW!

Mark- *Boot hits him*
FUCK YOU FELIX! AND OW!

Phil-
*smile turns to a frown* so, ahem...
"This takes care of like family obligations....And now to Ethan-"

Ethan-
Oh, I-I don't want nothing...

Phil-
*gentle smile* "Who took care of me faithfully these many, many years, who cared, made me laugh brought me tea-"

Ethan-
Oh, I didn't mind...

Phil-
"To Ethan I bequeath.." *smirks* "a boot to the head!"

Ethan- *Boot hits him*
OWE!

Phil-
*smiles like a crazy person* AND ONE FOR JACKY AND THE WHIMP!

*Boot hits Jack and mark*

Jack- *Falls to floor and stays down*
OWE! AW FOOKIN HELL!

mark- *falls to floor but gets up*
OW!

Phil-
*Frowns on anger* "And so to my pug eager,(idk how u spell pugs name) I leave my entire vast, boot to the head..."
(Idfk anymore...)

*pug growls in background in anger as everyone stays quite*

Phil- *smiles to self*
"And to my lawyer, who has helped me on this will, I leave not a boot to the head..." *smile turns into a look of fear*
But rabbit Tasmanian devil to be placed in his pants!? *a person puts the animal in pants* OWE! WHAT THE FUCK!!!???
OW,OW! "AND I LEAVE MY ENTIRE ESTATE OF 10 MILLION DOLLARS, TO THE PEOPLE OF CALSBARY, SO THEY CAN MOVE SOMEWHERE DESCENT!"
*takes animal out of pants a sighs in relief*

Mark-
That's it?

Dan-
THAT'S IT!?

Tyler-
Thats disgraceful!

Phil-
And there's on last thing for everyone...

Tyler-
COVER YOUR HEADS EVERYBODY!

*no one listens*

Phil- *lies*
I leave everyone a lifetime supply of ice cream...

Mark-
Ice cream?

Tyler-
Ice cream!?

Dan-
Ice cream!?!? That's all!?

Phil- *lies*
That's all...

Ethan-
what flavor is it?

Phil-
*chuckles and smiles like a phyco*
BOOT TO THE HEAD!

*everyone gets hit except for phil*

Everyone but phil-
OWE!

(Wtf am I doing with my life rn?)