Dream's Intuition

Chapter 23 - Confession

Chapter 23

            “Robert what are you doing?” 

He stops the car.  I have no idea where we are, I had fallen asleep and it is past sunset and all that meets my eyes is the ten feet of road that is lit up before the car.  Different shades of darkness meet my eyes as I look over my shoulder and turn back around. 

“Why did you stop here babes?”  I run my hand over his shoulder blade and down his arm, I can feel all the muscles tense and alert.  I keep my tone calm and steady, his behaviour was more then unusual.  “Babes?”

My questions are met with dead silence.  He has no answers as he sits there both hands clenched tight on the wheel.  I run my hand up and down my arm again as I try to release some of his tension.  I lean over and I kiss his check then his ear and follow my lips down to his neck.

“I didn’t mean to do it…” his words come out through his clenched lips in a low whisper.

“Do what?”  I ask him, my own voice coming through my lips in a whisper.

“Kay…” his words come out even lower then they had previously.  He was in a daze and his words were meant for someone else, he was not focused on me or the present situation. 

            As Robert sat next to me in a blind glaze everything came into focus in my mind.  Kay had a date and she never came home.  Kay had a date with a real charmer who had a girlfriend.  Kay had a date with someone who she had leverage over, she had told me that, she had “his balls in a vice”. 

            “She had a date with you the night she disappeared…”  I sat back in the seat, my shoulders and body tense.  The hair on the back of my neck stood up and took notice.  The palms of my hands grew clammy.  I stare straight into the darkness, I could not even see him out of the corner of my eye.

“Yes,” his voice came out of nowhere, his trancelike state broken. 

“I don’t remember all that happened.  It kind of comes back to me in pieces.  I was still with Jen at the time, I know our relationship was rocky but I love her, well I thought I did anyways…Kay had a way of making me feel good and secure, I felt like I could tell her anything.  I did.”

I felt like I was in a movie I was an actress in the scene where the murderer confesses to his crimes and for one split second you feel a pang of sympathy.  I sit paralyzed in my seat, the man that I am in love with was telling me his big dark secret. 

“…she was gonna tell Jen.  She was going to tell my boss about the money I took.  It’s not like I wanted to stop seeing her or anything, I was happy with the way things were.  She just wanted to ruin my life….I didn’t mean to do it…”  He broke down sobbing, he threw his chest forward into the steering wheel and wrapped his arms around it, hugging it for dear life. 

            He had been living in shear torment.  His face was red and wet from the tears, he looked tired and worn out, as if he had all this on his chest and it was slowly eating away at him. 

“I don’t know why anyone would just want to do that…why would you want to hurt someone,” his words came out muffled between the tears and the sobs.  I searched through my pockets and found him a tissue.  I handed it to him but kept my distance, I hate myself in this moment for feeling pity for him.  I hate myself in this moment for not seeing what was so obvious.

“We started fighting… I don’t know who started yelling first but she just kept shrieking and shrieking…I just wanted her to shut up, I just wanted to think, I just wanted things to stay the way they were!  I was going to lose everything, I told her everything, I trusted her and she was treating my life like a big game!”