A Silenced Gift

Chapter 5

© 2017 D.S. Little All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced in any form without permission from the author, except as permitted by U.S. Copyright law.
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Fatima

It had been six days since I left the hospital and the cramping was still painful. I learned from Dr. Rubinstein that our son was trying to grow but because of how my uterus was split he had no room to grow. My uterus was trying to accommodate him, causing the extreme cramping. It was as if my body was going to do whatever it could to take care of my baby even if it killed me in the process.

The pain was excruciating, the medications helped some but really didn't fully give me any peace for long periods of time. It felt like the worst menstrual cramps I ever had in my life times a hundred. My parents had flown in as well as both Chanel and Autumn. Between them, Jaren's mom Yolanda, and Jaren, I had someone sitting with me around the clock trying to hold my hand and help me fight through the pain.

Jaren was taking it the hardest. I had cried so hard the night before that he began to cry because he felt so helpless in the situation. I promised him that I was going to continue to fight for our son no matter what, but I was only fifteen weeks and when I calculated the weeks I still had to go I didn't know if I could survive this much pain for that long.

When Dr. Rubinstein offered me the option of terminating the pregnancy to alleviate the pain, I quickly declined. There was no way I was going to willingly kill my baby. I didn't care how much pain I was in! Everyone else around me was worried, they didn't know how much more I could take. They didn't understand that as long as I had breath in my body I was going to fight for my son. As long as he was fighting to live, I was going to suffer through the pain for him. I already loved him that much.

To top it all off, while Jaren and I were on our way to my follow-up appointment with Dr. Rubensteun I heard Jaren talking to Joel about someone from the hospital leaking the news that I was pregnant. While he was pissed off and wanted to know who did it, I was just thankful they didn't release the other information about what was going on with my pregnancy. It honestly felt like we couldn't catch a break!

As I lay on the table waiting on Dr. Rubenstein to finish examining me. Jaren held on tightly to my hand.

She turned the ultrasound screen in our direction. "Here's your son." She pointed out. On the screen we saw our son and I felt Jaren squeeze my hand. At the minute he seemed to be sleeping. "His heartbeat is still strong and he's now measuring at the size of a large apple." She paused to search my eyes. "He's going to get much bigger..."

I knew what she was hinting at and I didn't want to hear it, not while staring at my son inside of me.

"The pain is only going to get worse because he has to grow." She continued.

I looked over at Jaren, just thinking about the months of pain I still had ahead tears began to slide down my face. She left the room to give me time to get myself together so we could meet back in her office to talk. Once inside her office Jaren held on to my hand as she entered the room. The tension was so high you could cut it with a knife.

"Again, I am so sorry for what you two are going through. I know that none of this is easy." She paused. "I also wish this was something that the ultrasound could have picked up early on so I could have better prepared you for these decisions."

"What can we do now to help her?" Jaren asked.

"Unfortunately, there is very little I can do while she is still carrying the baby." She answered him and then she turned her eyes on me. "Once you are no longer pregnant there is a procedure that we can perform to correct your uterus."