Looking For Alaska

Chapter Five

"I have to warn you, he's pretty much a big baby," Alfred informed, pressing the doorbell, repeatedly, "So try not to traumatise him too badly, okay?"

"I think I can manage," Andrew said, taking Alfred's wrist and pulling it away from the bell, "Stop ringing the bell. You're gonna give the poor guy a heart attack." The door opened then, revealing a man very similar to Alfred in appearance, but his hair was much longer.

"Mattie!" Alfred broke out of Andrew's hold and tackled his brother, "I haven't seen you in forever!"

"It's nice to see you, too, Alfred," Matthew groaned, lightly pushing his brother away, "Please get off of me."

"Hehe sorry," Alfred jumped to his feet, pulling Matthew up with him, "I actually came here for a reason, this time!"

"Oh?" Matthew asked, "Well... Come on in, I suppose."

"Come on, And!" Alfred took him by the hand and dragged him inside. Matthew's house was fair sized, possibly larger than Alfred's, but was much neater and there was a certain lack of all the random things Alfred would pick up in his quest to 'support small business'.

"I don't believe I've met your friend," Matthew mentioned. He'd been ill the day of the meeting and had been forced to miss it, so Andrew had never gotten the opportunity to meet his uncle.

"Oh, yeah. Okay, so Mattie, this is your totally righteous nephew, Andrew Jones - Aka Alaska," Alfred introduced, gesturing towards the boy, "And, this is your kinda lame but still pretty chill Uncle Mattie."

"Matthew Williams," he offered his hand, which Andrew accepted to shake, "I'm the national personification of Canada. It's nice to make your acquaintance."

"You too."

"So, I have a question to ask you," Alfred stated, once they were finished, "You got a minute?"

"Um... Sure," Matthew agreed, "Andrew, I have an entertainment centre in the other room. The collection is probably not as large as Alfred's but you are welcome to play some video games while we talk, if you'd like."

Andrew turned to Alfred, "Mom?"

"Yeah, Dude. When have I ever turned down video games? Go make the high scores something to make your momma proud of." Andrew rolled his eyes and went to find the game systems.

"Did... He just call you Mom?" Matthew questioned, the corner of his lip quirking upwards.

Alfred turned to him with a death glare, "Shut up."

"And then you called yourself Momma," Matthew snickered.

"Matthew, I swear to god..."

"Not even Dad and Papa did that."

"Stop talking."

"So, now I'm curios..."

"Don't you dare."

"Who's the father?"

Alfred moved to strangle him, but Matthew was already out of the way, crackling quietly as Alfred chased him down, shouting all kinds of baseless threats.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"So... There actually is a father then," Matthew smirked, "And it's Russia of all people?"

"I can still throw you in the lake," Alfred growled.

"Yeah, right," Matthew rolled his eyes, "You're not going back outside. Forget that, anyways. I just don't understand what this has to do with me. It sounds like you two have things all worked out."

"It's just... We've got this one day each week that he's gonna be left in the care of a nanny," Alfred explained, looking down at his hands, "And I just... I don't feel comfortable leaving him with some random human stranger hired by the UN. You get me?"

"So, let me guess," Matthew rested his head in one of his hands, "You want me to babysit?"

"Every other Monday of the month," Alfred nodded, "I can bring him around on Sunday evening after dinner or you could come by his place and I just need you to make sure he gets everything he needs and is fed and stuff until Tuesday morning. Russia is going to be coming and getting him, then, so you don't have to worry about me being on time."

"But you said every other Monday," Matthew pointed out, "Why not every Monday?"

"We're recruiting his sister, too," Alfred explained. Matthew's eyes widened in alarm and the colour drained from his face.

"You might be better off with the UN employees."

"Not Belarus!" Alfred corrected, "Jeez, Mattie! What kind of parent do you think I am? I'm talking about Ukraine." Matthew didn't know much about her, but the stories he had heard seemed to all be good ones and he visibly relaxed.

"Oh, alright," he nodded, "That's not so bad. Why don't you ask Dad and Papa to watch him, though? They actually have experience with kids."

"Rus said no," Alfred shrugged, "Can't say I really disagree with the guy. They're a pretty weird bunch. Plus, I don't want to start having to use a dictionary to know whether or not he's swearing."

"I know French, too, you know," Matthew frowned, "Aren't you worried I'd teach him something like that?"

"No," Alfred answered, honestly, "You're a goodie two shoes, Mattie. You're gonna feel bad interrupting his video games to bring him lunch, let alone to sit him down and teach him to speak another language. Besides, he won't care very much since he's already gonna be learning Russian."

"You know, you're a jerk," Matthew crossed his arms, defiantly.

"So... Can you do it or not?" Alfred pressured, "Come on, Man. I need you! I'll pay you back, I swear."

Matthew sighed, "Fine... But I want you to do something for me."

"Yeah, sure. What?" Alfred agreed.

"You've gotta hold Christmas at your place this year," Matthew said.

"Dude, you know I hold this massive party every year," Alfred rolled his eyes.

"No, no... I mean the family gathering," Matthew corrected, "You know... The one you always skip out on because you're conveniently 'sick'?"

"What? Ew, no! You can't be serious! Those things are always a drag," Alfred whined, "Last one I went to ended with Dad yelling drunk profanities at Papa over Battleship. Can't you think of something else? I can't even cook."

"I have hosted one too many of these things," Matthew crossed his arms, "You three are gonna start participating or I'm gonna start getting serious."

"Oh no. I'm so scared," Alfred retaliated, "You're going to send me a passive aggressive card saying how much you would have loved too see us all this holiday season? How could you, you monster?"

"Fine. Good luck finding someone else to watch him," Matthew shrugged.

"Wait! No, okay, fine," Alfred caught him by the arm, "I'll host a freaking Christmas party for the family."

"Great," Matthew approved, standing up and brushing down his shirt, "Can't wait to tell Andrew the good news."