Riding It Out

Nine

Rory had hooked me up with a job at the restaurant that Uncle Sam owned and today was my first day.
I was so excited to be able to do something. To earn my own money.
Trace had followed me to work and promised to be here to follow me home at the end of shift. We hadnt had sex since he had left on his run and so far, he knew nothing of my tongue piercing. Three days since he had gotten back.
Three painful days of controlling myself around him. I felt like tonight I wouldnt be able to hold back.

It was an easy enough job just waiting tables.. Until i had to wait a table with a beaten and bruised James.
How is he still here? Why would he stay?
'Can you wait on him for me?' I ask one of the other girls 'Hes my ex and i dont want to see him'
She looks between me and the table and sighs but nods. Surely James didnt know i worked here, i only started today.
Within ten minutes the girl came back 'Hes asking for you'
I paled. How could he know?
I swallow and head for his table 'What do you want?' i ask him.
'A chat' he doesnt look at me 'Do you love him?'
I frown 'What? You came to ask about my love life?'
'Yes or no Skylar' I didnt know what happened to the James but i guess prison fucked him up.
'That is none of your business' i scoff. Honestly, i wasnt sure if I did love Trace, i mean, i was sure i did but if I had to question myslef then surely I couldn't.
'Your boyfriends dead' he tells me now looking up at me 'You had want to get all that loving out of the way now sugar because his days are numbered'
I was mad, livid right now 'Are you a fucking idiot?' I hiss 'You are only breathing right now because i asked for it, my family will kill you before you get near him or I again'
'Ive figured it all out' James tells me, almost proudly, 'You see, you fell for him because he is so much like you and you just had to be someones saviour for a change but do you really think someone like him would ever love you back?'
He got to me and he knew it. He was going to start making me doubt myself again.
'You are fighting a war you can not win' i tell him 'I dont need to be loved so long as he can fuck me right, thats all that matters and trust me, hes made me forget what you even felt like' i rub in, knowing he will be pissed about it.
'Dont worry' he leans in and smirks 'Ill make you remember and ill make him watch before i make you watch me kill him' the colour drains from my face because i knew how serious he was.
'Is there a problem here Skylar?' i recognise uncle Sams voice.
'He was just leaving' I reply keeping a glare on James face. He smirks, stands and leaves.
My shoulders sag.
'You will have someone assigned to you at all times, im getting someone for the front and back' Uncle Sam tells me. 'I heard what he just said to you'
'Then you know that Trace needs someone too, he cant be alone' I tell my Uncle.
'Ill make sure Rory is always with him'
'Thank you' i say.
'Come on, you can start again tomorrow' Uncle Sam tells me.
I nod. I would have fought him on it but I was so shaken right now, I couldnt be here.

Thankfully, Sam didnt ride his bike often so we took the car back to the club house. I was still nervous about being here and as soon as i walked in, Cale was right in my face.
'Are you ok?' he asks 'I thought you were working, you never come here'
I laugh 'Im fine, just stressed and Sam was there so he brought me here'
Cale looks to Uncle Sam and i hear my Uncle sigh.
'We need a family meeting'
'Ill call everyone' hes about to walk away when the door opens.
A woman was there, she was probably Aneikas age, give or take and she looked nervous at first but then she spots me.
'Can i help you?' Cale asks.
'My name is Tania and im looking for my daughter, Skylar Greyson'
Everyone looks at me.
'Nope' i shake my head 'Im done' i walk away, my arms in the air in exaggeration. 'I can not take any more shit'
I go right for the bar. I need a drink.
'Where the fuck have you been?' it was Rorys voice i heard. I didnt even know he was here.
I was so exhausted, mentally and emotionally. Im done. I cant take anymore.
'I know ive been gone a while...'
'Na lady, you've been gone her whole life, you left her with that asshole who beat the fuck out of her daily' Rory was really mad and i didnt give a fuck.
Im just not meant to be happy.
'I went to get help' my so called mother defended.
'For twenty years?' Rory scoffs. 'Where were you when your daughter was popping pills to feel something? Where were you when she was literally on deaths door step because of your fuckig husband? Where the fuck were you?'
It was Indi behind the bar today. I hadnt even realised. 'Something strong' i order.
'For the week you've had, i have the thing' she tells me. She pours five shot glasses and slides them to me.
'I wil not let her fuck up anymore, she will not be hangimg around you lot in this place' i had done my third shot when i heard this.
I slam the glass and it smashes but i dont care.
'You know what' i laugh dryly and turn to face this woman. 'I am sick and tired of fucking surprises, you have no right to come here and tell me what i can and cant do..'
'Sky, your hand is bleeding'
I ignore Indi 'You are not a mothers fucking ass hole and this place, these people are my home and my family, they have done more for me than you ever fucking did, all you did right by me was birthing me' I yell at her 'So get the fuck out of my life and stay out'
'You dont mean that' she looked hurt. She dare act like im the bad one right now.
'But i do' i tell her with an eager nod 'Would you have even know if I killed myself? Do you even know dads dead?'
'Yes' she nods 'I knew he was killed'
'So you knew i was homeless then? For three fucking years' i ask her 'That would have been a perfect time to come back into my life you know'
No one says anything so i continue my rant. 'I was actually enjoying my life for once in twenty one years, i found a family who love me and i was actually happy but no, Skylar can never be happy right? Because first James comes along and tries to ruin my life and now you'
'Whos James?' she frowns.
'Fuck off before i make you eat the fucking pavement' I growl.
I turn back and go to the bar. Indi looked scared as she held the cloth in her hand. 'Sorry' i tell her.
'I need to clean that' I follow her eyes and open mine wide at my hand. It was red. Blood was every where.
'Oh shit' i mutter and see the small blood trail of where ive been since i hurt it. But it didnt hurt.
I let Indi take me to the kitchen and flush my hand. I felt nothing but the pressure of the water.
'You ok?' she asks me softly
'Im just done' i tell her defeated.
Why couldnt i be really happy? Why does life hate me so much? I was better off never coming here. I had burdened them all too much now.
I watch emotionlessly as Indi removes the glass from my hand. She sighs 'You need my mom, I cant stitch'
'Ill be fine, just bandage it' i say.
'Im calling my mom' she tells me sternly.

I was still an emotionless void after Aneika stitched my palm and bandaged it. I still couldnt feel it. I just sat and stared at the bar, thinking the same shit over and over and how easy it would be to get back on shit. How much better id feel.
Id pause my thinking every so often to shot a glass and continue to stare into space.
Rory had sat with me for a while in silence and now it was finally time for this family meeting. I didnt care, i stayed on the stool.
Five minutes in and i hear Traces yelling. 'Thatd be when someone mentioned the almost rape' i mutter.
'What?' I look up and see Indis shocked face.
'Oh just a normal day for Skylar Greyson these days' i wave it off 'James found me and tried to rape me, no big deal'
'No big deal?' she snaps
'Your dad got there just in time' i take another shot.
'No more' Indi says. 'You are freaking me the fuck out'
'Indi, honey' I start 'There comes a time where shit happens and then more shit and eventually you have so much shit built up that your emotions cant process it all so it goes into over drive and shuts off' I explain.
'How fucked up are you?'
'Right now, i dont give a fuck about anything, i will laugh about whats happened and what ive done because my emotions are on a time out but when they turn on again, i will feel the pain of it all' i nod.
'Why the fuck did you not tell me?' Trace comes to stand beside me, his hands slapping the bar top.
I roll my eyes. 'Because im a fucking idiot and returned a favour'
'Yeah you were a fucking idiot, he could have killed you if it werent for Ty and Neik. Were you ever going to say anything?'
'Nope' i shake my head 'I dont give a fuck right now what anyone thinks or feels'
'Well you cant save him now, as soon as i see that little fuck again, hes dead' and then hes storming out, Rory following.