Fighting my demons

27th august 2012

Sighing I lean against Sean his arm around my shoulder. I pulled my black hoodie sleeves over my hands and wiped my tears. We had been sitting there in silence for a bit maybe thirty minutes maybe more I wasn't sure. I didn't care. "Hey Jessica things will get better I mean it" he tilted my head up leaning in to kiss me but I pulled away. "No Sean you use me when I'm hurt and I'm never falling for it it again" I pulled away completely and curled up. Me and Sean were at an abandon site the stairs that lead up to a concrete landing it had been covered in broken glass bottle and grass. Suddenly I felt my phone vibrate in my jeans pocket I reached in my pockets and pulled it out. I flipped it open to see a text it's caller ID saying Asshole "what is it?" Sean said I could hear a fake tone of worry in his voice "it's Arron he's texted me" I sighed picking up a glass bottle that was not yet smashed and clenched it in my hand "What did he say?" He asked staring at me. I looked at Sean then back at the phone and click read Asshole- I know you hate me, you have a right to but I want to apologise face to face. "He wants to meet me up to say sorry" I rubbed my temples with frustration I seen Sean stand up and walk towards me "look I should go I know you want to be alone" and before I could say any remark he was gone. He knew shit about me, I want someone to hug me, to love me for me. I want a man who treats me right! What was I kidding that will never happen I gripped the bottle harder and threw it in the distance and heard it smash. I took a step backwards and lost my footing and fell. I landed hard on the ground. What a live I have, I'm meant to be with my friends, a loving boyfriend, parties. Family get togethers. But not me. Stuck in a loop. A never ending depression. Why fight it? I stood back up and got my phone again clicking on reply fine go up the hill now I'll be literally 2 minutes I need to get dinner anyway and that's when I headed down to get him. I ran down the hill and squeezed passed the broken fence. Quicker I get there the better I wanted this to be over, for him out my life. I spun round the corner and saw him. Arron stood there his black baggy hoodie and jogging bottoms his long blonde and bits of ginger hair where the blondle hair faded was sticking out. He was chubby and stood there with confidents. I called out to him and he looked up quick "Jessica!"

Even though they determine beginning of my adultlessent hood does not determine where I will end up

3 years ago

It was a cold winters day when I was shuffling through the snow to get to my home. I always seen snow as a relaxing and calm weather but that's only it falls slowly and lightly. Somehow all my friends had left home early, wusses! A bit of snow and ice! Suddenly I felt my feet slip on a patch of black ice and nearly fell flat on my face. But I didn't I felt a hand grip on my arm. I spun round to look at whoever saved me from a nasty fall.

It was a boy from a club I went to, he always sat by himself. He had long curly ginger, light blue eyes with sparks of yellow and had hundred of freckles all round his face. He was short built like me but was really big. " hi" I said "hey" he smiled "Thank you for saving me, I'm Jessica" I smiled. "I'm Arron and no problem I was trying to catch up with you anyway" I was taken aback from his remark. He was trying to catch up on me? Why? "Erm I hope you don't mind me asking but why? " he just looked at me with his small blue eyes. "A beautiful girl you shouldn't be alone in weather like this" i could see his cheek going red. And he wasn't the only one "wha-what?" i playfully pushed him "aw that was nice" and that's how me and arron met and somehow became friends. It went to the point of him meeting me and walking me to school. And not to long then did i see pass his.... physical look and seen a really sweet boy. Days turns to months and i start having an attraction to him. The school started to seem like nothing now. Like if the bullying didn't matter.

Autumn 2009

Another day at school and arron was walking me home once again having a great laugh, talking about jack, lucas and Nicky "Fucking hell today was a blast wasn't it! awk' jack was so funny" i smiling like a idiot now (i had feeling for jack but i had no idea what they were... it was very puzzling) "ooo i seen that!" Arron grinned at me pushing me slightly "seen what!" i could feel myself go red "you have a crush on jack!" he started to jump up and down like a mad man "what don't be daft!" i could feel the thumping in my chest. i felt like i was lying but... i wasn't ... was i? Anyway me with jack HA! i wish but he would never like me he probably laugh if he knew! no i have to get over it. i shrugged it off anyway i could tell at least one boy liked me and that was arron. But was he the guy i like? i was in a daydream puzzled by all these new questions! Should i risk it and ask jack or keep it safe and ask arron out?

A/N

Hi guys this is jessica and i just wanted to say thank you for reading my stories this is about my life and my dear friend is helping me on this story it took me a while to get courage to do this but please stick by and i hope you fine strength in this story.