Dear Devin,
You didn't deserve it love, I know you couldn't deal with it, I know that it was hard. I know you didnt want us to see the pain, so you acted like nothing was wrong. Why? We couldv'e helped. I didn't talk to you in a long time and maybe I should have.. maybe I should have talked to you one day sooner, one hour sooner, one minute sooner. I wish I did, Maybe then I couldv'e stopped you, could've helped, couldv'e said goodbye, or I love you Brother, for the last time.. but I couldn't and I miss you. Miss that you could tell when something was wrong.. Yes I think it should be me that left, that you didn't deserve it. It's what you wanted but I miss you.. I need you. I guess for now I'll have to write letters to you and hope that maybe you see them, see that I miss you with all my heart, miss your older brother advice, I just miss you. But until I can meet you up there this will have to do. I'll be fine I guess.. I mean I have Grayson, my mad hatter, he reminds me of you Dev, to be honest. He's a mix of you and Ky and Eli. Makes me feel like you didn't really leave that you are just there. I made a new friend too, Alex he's pretty cool. I think you would have liked to meet him and he's there for me too. Which is great.. theyres people here for me, but it's nothing like your advice. I'll be okay I think.. I hope and if not than I might see you soon. I talked to your boyfriend. He's amazing and really nice. You picked a great guy. I'm going to be there for him, for someone to lean on. I promise, I'll do that for you. I love you Dev. I miss you soo much..
Love always your little sis,
Jaz.
