Various X Readers

Eren X Reader - Forever and Always

Day One

Well, it's day one of writing in this journal. Mikasa said that it should help me not think about, uh, things. I can't believe that happened. My head just won't wrap around it. I keep thinking that I'm hearing your voice call for me during expeditions or even when we have to clean the stables. I think I'm going crazy with you gone, [y/n]. I knew that I shouldn't have left you that day. I knew that I should have made you stay behind, but I ignored my instincts and I regret every moment after.

I wish that I could kiss you once more and apologize over and over. I know that won't fix anything and won't bring you back to me, but I still want to do that. I want you to know that I truly am sorry. I would write more, love, but the Captain's calling me. I still love you, forever and always.

Day Twelve

It rained today. I immediately thought of you. Does it rain where you are? I really hope it does, it was your favorite after all. I remember how you always pulled someone outside to dance in the rain. One day, it was me. You started to dance, still holding my hands. Your eyes were closed and that was when I realized I truly loved you. It wasn't just a crush like I thought it was. I fully loved you with all of my heart.

Do you remember that day? I confessed my love for you and you were a blushing mess. You were so cute and I had to fight the urge to kiss you. That urge went away completely when you said that you loved me back. You were looking at the ground, too embarrassed to look at me. I had smiled and lifted your chin up. Your eyes met mine and we both leaned in for a kiss?

Do you remember? Because I do. And that was when I realized, I'll love you. Forever and always.

Day Eighteen

Jean was humming your favorite song today. Once he realized what he was doing, he stopped mid hum. Nobody said anything while Jean's eyes filled with tears. If anyone missed you more than me, it would be him. The guy lost both of his best friends.

Funny how your favorite song was a children's song. One that was supposed to cheer the little kids up. To remind them that everything will be alright. To say that their sunshine will always be there. Now every time I hear that song, I want to cry. Because my sunshine was taken away from me and won't be there anymore. But I still love you. Forever and always.

Day Thirty

I thought I heard you singing today. My head jerked up of its own accord and I looked around for you. I didn't see you which was to be expected, but I still felt this pang in my heart. It hurt so much [y/n]. You have no idea. Everyday my heart cries out for you and every expedition I always try to kill as many titans as I can to be able to get where you wanted to go.

We were so close when you died. It's only been a month and the titans are almost all gone according to Hanji. We're even closer now and it's only a matter of time until we don't have to hide behind the walls anymore. You lived for excitement and to see the world. And since you died before you could see it, I'm going to make sure that other people can. I'm going to let the people free from their bonds they call the walls and let them experience life for the first time. I know that you wanted that to happen, so I'm going to make it happen.

I love you. Forever and always.

Day Forty-three

Hanji predicts that today will be our last expedition. I really hope that it is. I'm tired of fighting titans, believe it or not. I'm tired of seeing people die and I just want it to end. This expedition should do the trick. If it doesn't, then everything we have done would have been done in vain.

This entry is going to be shorter than the rest. It's really early in the morning and we leave soon. Mikasa is nagging at me to eat instead of write and it's getting quite annoying so I'm going to leave it here for now. Just remember, I love you. Forever and always.

Day Forty-five
We did it. All of the titans are gone and we can go outside the walls without fear. You would love it here [y/n]. It is truly beautiful. I think what you would love the most is the ocean. Oh the ocean. It has to be the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. Besides you of course. You know how you love to swim? Well think of the ocean like a gigantic pool. I know you've seen pictures of the ocean in books, but they don't compare to the real thing. They really don't.

So that's why we have decided to make you a grave here. We waited until the titans were all gone and now that they are, we're finally going to do it. The location is already picked out and everything is ready to go. We obviously don't have your body, but we dug a hole anyways. We are going to put rocks in it then fill it back up with dirt. After that, all that's left is to put the headstone down and say our goodbyes properly.

Your grave is right where beach (that's the name for the sand in front of the ocean weird, I know) meets the forest. It is perfect and I could see you if you were alive just dancing and singing at that spot, not caring about anything or anybody. It is truly a peaceful place.

Unfortunately, this is going to be my last entry. I've been talking to Mikasa and Armin and they both say that I need to let you go. I hope that you understand. I'm not going to forget you, no. I could never do that so don't think that. I've realized that you are in a better place now and I just need to let go. You will always be in my heart and I hope that wherever you are, I'm still in yours.

And don't forget, I love you. Forever and always.