Trans Poetry

Living Will

♡

You could compare his emotions to debris after a tornado.

Maybe he could end it?
But all they'd do is bend it!

"He made the decision!"
"He took his own life!"

But

Where were you when he held that knife?

Where were you when he felt useless in life.

When he cried
When he cut when his mind got all fucked up?

Where we're you when you made him want to end it?

That night

Yeah he did take his own life and yeah he did make that decision. But where was your conscience when you helped him make that decision?

To you Toby wasn't Toby  to you he wasn't a he he was a she!  You're a condmentary ass no matter how many times you try to bend it,  shouldnt have thrown around the phrase " I'm sorry" when we both know you damn well you never meant it! But sometimes words do do the same thing as actions. You did it 3 times and you hurt me so bad i tried to do things that I would have regreted.

I don't understand how you could be cruel, putá I bet you even thought you was cool? The pain that you caused me came right back at ya. Then you cried and cried and said that you should die?! 

But say what you will that night you killed my living will , because for every mirror I have busted my knuckles will never feel. For every razor blade I've collected my wrist will never heal. For every meal that I have skipped, my image will never be regained. For every burning shower my skin won't be the same.
For every fallen tear, another scar gained.

But I work hard just to smile in the morning and I'm still working on keeping my head up, but sometimes I do just want to hide. I feel the hits and the kicks of society and I bet you that's the reason why I suffer from anxiety. But living life is hard and even harder when your hated for loving who steals your heart. But my life is like a mix of Pinocchio and Beauty and the Beast. I want to be a real boy and I once was beautiful too. But people change and words do too. I know belive me I once was that little boy with hope in my eyes and i believed in all my dreams. But now my eyes are open and all my dreams are broken. But I'm not here to complain and I may even sound insane but you can do it. And when you do you will be able to look back and say I did that too! Just like the sky me and you are blue and that aint ever gonna change. But You'll be able to smile and mean it.You'll be able to look in the mirror and not want to end it.You'll be able to eat and not want to yack it. You'll be able to look at those places where you cut it and you'll be able to say that was my life and I'm glad it didn't end. I know it's hard but you have to deal with the hurt to be able to handle the good. It always gets bad before it gets good. So stay strong and know your not alone. As a wise man once said Stay alive stay alive for me.