repeating apologies

Austin carlile.

sometimes love is just a four letter word, but its very powerful what can something like that word make you feel like your trapped in a ocean or just makes you hallucinate most of the time. for example i love my dog and i love food but that's not what i mean by love. Understand that love is not it seems, you just get trapped in the eyes of the beholder its nothing else like that.

......Austin....

To day is the day that I get to see that beautiful girl named Lillyana. She's so pretty, when ever I'm near her my heart gets overwhelm.

That brown hair, that 5'4 tall girl. She is perfection. And what she wears is just something beautiful. She's a great lady.

When she cries makes me fall in love with her, Her smile Is something that I can't explain. Trying to focused on my work, but she keeps me even more motivated in what I do. I'd like to know if she feels the same as I do towards her.

......the feels that I have....

I call Lillyana's brother Joe if his sister is coming to warped and well I for got that she was going to play here at warped so I plan to see her, I really miss her since the that night I saw her, but long time ago.

When I see Joe alone, that's when I thought that she wasn't at warped. I ask Joe "Joe was up man" he replies "um okay I guess" I mumble "so uh where's your sister not that I care" he replies "she came, I don't know where she is I'll go find her give me a second." He leaves I stay just thinking about her, how beautiful she is. With that short brown hair, Hazel eyes that 5'4 girl I just love how cute she is.

Around the time I started to like her she was dating a dick called Marc he treated her so fucking bad  I just didn't like him at all. She always came to me for advise, she always had a shulder to cry on. The first time she cried I just fell like I liked her very much.

When Joe came with her, tried not to blush, but I just couldn't help it, I look at her and tell her "hey Lilly I have to tell you something very important" she replies "um okay." As we walk Alan comes and said "hey dude don't forget that we have an interview at 3:00" I reply "okay now leave us alone I have to tell her something." I take her to my bus I check if nobody is on.

I ask her "so um how are you Lilly" she mumbles "I....I...i..... Don't know how to tell you but it's something that your going to be upset with me" I reply "what is it Lilly just show me" she rolls up her sleeves and shows me her freshly cuts on her arm, I get her arm I kiss it and ask her "why do you do this" she replies trying not cry "what supposed to do, my mom kicked me out, my dad doesn't want me and I'm living with my brother Joe and Marc cheated on me" I pull her closer to I was sitting she starts crying even more and I just feel so bad for her so I kiss her in the for head, while we sit there in silence.

Alan comes breaking the silence saying "are you guys a thing now" Lilly replies looking at me "I don't know are we or just the friend zone" I just pull her closer and kiss her and say "does that answer your question." Alan said "aww you too are so cute" I just blush.

Valentino comes and grabs Lilly and swings her around, he says "your playing now" she replies "yeah I know I'm so excited" I grab her kiss her and say "good luck" she replies "okay I'll rock it."

........hanging with the friends.........

I was hanging out with Alan and tino playing video games when I get a phone call...... It's Lillyana.......
"hey Lilly how you doing" she replies "you know same old" she ask "can I come I over" I reply "um yeah I'm not doing nothing important" she said she was out side. I go to the window,I see her nearly fall. She runs onto me I grab her and kiss her. She introduce me to her brother Nick.

Nick takes me to the back of my own house and starts asking me questions "hi my name is nick and yours is?" I answer him weirdly "my name is Austin Carlile" he replies "hey Austin I just have to tell you something that means something to me and that is that please take care of my little sister break her heart I'll break you" I look at him and say "I'll take care of her very much when ever I'm near her I blush my heart gets very explosive I just like her very much."

We walk towards the front, when I walk in the house I see Lilly playing with the guys, I sneak onto her and scare her, she jumps. She says "oh I see you too came back" I reply "yeah I guess" nick goes and whispers into her ear and she asks nick, what he do to me, he replies "nothing just asked him some questions." She pulls me away to talk to me.

While I stroke her hair I tell her "he just told me to take care of you because your the best thing that ever happened to me" I grab and kiss her.

.....bullshit man, can you take it.......

I like Lillyana a lot, but I get so much negativity towards myself it's just not fair. People ask, why am I dating an innocent young lady, if I'm going to cheat on her, if I really do like or I'm just doing this for publicity, it hurts so fucking bad it pisses me off. I honestly do freaking like her like crazy, she's like me. She's just fucking amazing I don't even deserve her, she's perfect.