I regret the days when I didn't do a thing
Those days I want to be at a stage and sing
It's all my fault which is why I turned like this
A jealous, envious girl who doesn't know what is pure bliss.
I walk at the hallways with no friend by my side
For I chose to be quiet and it is what I decide
Negativity and shyness to me it has wrapped its finger
The embarassing days in mind they would linger
I wanna get out of my shell but I feel like I couldn't
Predicament reminders again remind me I couldn't
It's hard to live in fear and have no fun at all
Until the opportunities leave and just take their toll
What am I gonna do? I feel so trapped and weak
All I want is to gain confidence but until now it's still what I seek
I know for you, this conflict is very shallow
But for me, it's like there's no more tomorrow
I hide and hide so no one can see
My shyness and insecurites manipulating me
When I look at the mirror I see nothing but flaws
Feelings of envy and depressions is my only cause
Do you think there's still hope for me or none?
A hope that light would shine on me from the sun
Do you think I'm important as people say?
Like others, do I have a pretty face to display?
I need help 'cause when I try I get frantic
I need to realize that like others, I'm fantastic
They say don't change yourself, you're amazing as you are
Is this true? Should I get out of the jar?
"Smile and be happy for what you are," says myself
But I still feel like I'm shrinking to the size of an elf
Again and again in my head I repeat that sentence
Until I get tired and weary and so does my conscience
I need to change and fight for what I think
But when I'm already at the scenario I start to sink
I flunk when I start to face my fears
I take it hard and cry a pool of tears
"I'm a coward, I'm a loser," I say now
Why did I become like this? How?
Why am I so silent? Why am I so shy?
Why am I always so afraid to try?
Should I just give up? Should I just stop climbing?
I know I'm wrong. I know it's worth trying.
Maybe I should think things over and start anew
Edit this picture of a life I just drew
Thanks for reading this poem. I'm just sharing what I feel
If you worry 'bout me, please don't 'cause it's not a big deal
I always feel, think and know that soon God will give me a clue
But for now I thank you again and bid you adieu.
