Lost water

Chapter Two

Every night I come down to watch the waves. Sometimes I contemplate. I contemplate whether or not it's worth living. Who would miss me? Who would I have an impact on? I ask myself a lot of questions about what life would be like without me.

Life is nothing. Everything is nothing. Everything is technically energy, but who is to say that it isn't fake and all in your head? Pain is all in your head. Love is in your head. All of the emotions you feel are in your head. Whose to say what's real and what's not?

The wind whips past me as I sit in the same spot that I usually sit in. There's an entire beach to sit on, but this spot is my favorite, by far. It sits right behind the red and orange sunset, and right in front of the place I met my only friend.

Her name is Terralynn. She has hair that is long and blonde. She is beautiful, but she doesn't know it. She hides herself from the rest of the world with long sleeves and jeans. When she'd laugh, her smile would warm my heart, so much to the point of the sand. The way she would talk was unique; she had a soft and silky voice. Her voice was like an angel's. She was an angel.
She never ceased to surprise me.

Until she left. She ignored me. For an entire two years, she ignored me. That hurt so much worse than the physical scars that I had made.

Her face is etched into my brain, but I know I'll never see her again. I don't want to anymore. I can't feel the same ever again; my life is bland. I can't remember the feeling I had when she would focus her attention on me. My emotions have receded from my body and brain.

She wouldn't have known what I was going through. I never told her and I don't think I ever will. I'll never tell anyone, because I'm leaving. I'm leaving this world and everything in it, and I am gladly doing so.

Nobody has ever cared about me, and I'm not giving anyone the chance to ever again. I will end up hurting them, or vis versa. I haven't made the mark that I wanted to on the world, but what I've done so far should be good enough.

Life doesn't tell you what you need to do, nobody and nothing does. Everything happens by chance or on purpose.

She was all that I had, and soon turned into all that I needed. As I sit on the cooling sand and stare at the sunset, I think of all of the good times we shared together. There is a dark filtering through; the fact that we will never have another moment like that.

The wind whips past me in harsh movements, which takes me by surprise considering it's night. The wind feels so nice; cool and delicate on my skin, but also harsh and dramatic. As the day comes to an end, yet again, the sunset falls and I walk back to my house in the dark.

My mind sorts through the few reasons to live; she is one of them, but when it comes to the other category, she falls in there, too.  She came in after all of this started. Her smiles and laughing helped, but it all ended too soon.

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