Zalfie--I Fall Apart

three

The second I got home after the "date", I threw myself on my bed. It was strange, because there was no denying that my relationship with Nat had been toxic through and through. At first, I had endlessly protested when Louise told me that Nat was incredibly unhealthy for me. As time wore on, I began to see what she meant.

And yet, here I was, sprawled out on my bed ever-so-dramatically, crying about a boy who I was sure had stopped meaning anything to me. It was strange, the fact that I was still attached. I guess human nature is strange.

I unlocked my iPhone and went to my music gallery, opening up my sad playlist. Everyone has one of those, don't they? A playlist to make them feel like there are others that understand, no matter what pain you are going through. The first song--Fallen by Alfie Deyes--blared out of my speaker. Once more, I fell back on my bed and closed my eyes.

Alfie was one of my favorite artists. He had humble beginnings--he had started in Brighton and made his way to the top through a platform called YouTube. I had tried to get a start as a vlogger, but it just hadn't worked out for me. I was too awkward. I panicked in front of the camera and Nat had told me no one would watch my videos--probably the only honest thing I had ever heard him say.

After a few minutes of some deep breathing, my head was clear. I turned on my computer and checked my e-mail out of habit. To my surprise, I had a message from doddleoddle entitled "roomies?" In excitement, I opened the e-mail.

Apparently, a girl named Dodie, who was also from England, was moving to America in a few weeks. She said that she was also an aspiring musician and had created a YouTube channel, in the hopes of mirroring Alfie's success. In the last sentence, she said that she had four friends that were already renting out a small place in LA and that they were all wonderful people and would love to have me as a roommate. I felt a little nervous at the idea of being out of place among people who were such close friends, but still, the idea of having some ready-made friends in a different country was appealing to say the least.

I responded with:

"That all sounds wonderful to me. Since I don't know anyone in America, the more the merrier! I will admit, however, that (as usual) my plans are last minute and not well-thought out. I'm actually supposed to hop on board a plane in only a few days. Is there any way that we could meet for tea or lunch tomorrow or even today? I know it's quite late and I promise that, given you like me, I'll be a very clean roommate!

love,

Zoe"

A few minutes later, she shot back with:

"It's a little late for me to meet up tonight (my sleeping pattern is that of an old man), but I would love to meet up for tea tomorrow! Really any time would work!!

Can't wait to meet up,

Dodie"

My answer:

"How about 11 at Tallulah's in London?"

She said:

"Sounds wonderful! Can't wait to meet you there. And since I know more about you than you do me, I thought I would level the playing field:"

Attached was a link to a YouTube channel.

In curiosity, I opened it and it brought me to Dodie's own channel. I skimmed through the videos, before deciding on one entitled "Party Animals (original song)". I opened it up, hoping that it wasn't absolute shit--the idea of living with a poor musician and having to pretend to like her stuff was not one that appealed to me.

I listened tensely and to my surprise, it was amazing. She had a sweet voice and listening to her strum on the ukulele was thoroughly calming--even after the events that had transpired today. I was in awe. And eternally grateful. I would be glad to listen to that voice, no matter the day, no matter the time.

I binge-watched Dodie's videos until 10 PM. I couldn't believe that she didn't have more support--she certainly deserved it. Meeting her would certainly be a treat.