We'll Always Go On

Medicine

Something in my arm and the whole world was fuzzy and I was floating somewhere in between.

It was like everything was fragmented and I was looking at my universe through a cut diamond, all facets and refracted shards of light.

Broken glass.

That's what my life is. Shattered by a few careless moves and picking it up to fix it made the pieces cut into my hands and it only hurts more.

I saw my life as it could have been, with Jack. Jack, we stood in front of an ocean together, watching the sun set across the reddened sky. We rode a roller coaster and I came down so dizzy that I would have fallen straight over, but you caught me and we stood in the foaming surf, laughing until we cried.

It hurt so badly to watch the life that we could've had together fly away in front of me. Dull, aching breaths that scraped through my insides made me question why I was still taking them. 

I saw a world of terror with Cal in it, throwing my life beneath his feet.

My mother turned away with her back straight and her eyes down.

My father was gone and I was alone.

Fear and doubt through everything.

Did I ever even know them? Why was it all so fleeting? What had I done to drift away into this narrow world?

I would have drunk myself away.

Except.

The Maybe that kept me alive.