Zoey 101: You Must Of Had A Broken Heart ☑

Chapter 37

I heard every word he said, but I couldn’t comprehend a single syllable. Then I stared into his stormy green eyes and saw what he was saying. My knees buckled - I inhaled several fast breaths. I slowly lowered myself onto the chair at the desk, staring at the floor, my breath lost.

After a few minutes of deafening silence, Chase asked, “Are you okay?”

“No,” I mouthed, shaking my head slowly. I looked up at him. “Chase, you can’t say that. You can’t mean it.”

“That’s not quite what I hoped you’d say,” he responded, the disappointment evident in his tone.

“I’m sorry…” I started.

“Don’t be, it’s okay,” he replied quickly, suddenly trying to downplay the situation. Then he thought better of it, and asked, “Are you really telling me you don’t feel the same way?” I held my breath, and my heart ached.

“I can’t, we can’t,” I stammered. “You don’t understand. It doesn’t matter how I feel, it just can’t happen.” He stared into my distraught eyes and shook his head in confusion.

“I don’t understand. What are you talking about?”

“Can’t we please just stay friends?” I begged.

“But you’re not denying that you feel the same way.”

“It’s so much more complicated than that. If we can’t be friends, then –” I couldn’t say it. “Please, can we just be friends?”

He didn’t respond. The silence was disrupted by the vibration of his phone. He pulled it out of his pocket and looked to me. “I’ve got to take this - it’s my brother.”

I nodded and he left the room. Soon after, I heard his footsteps on the stairs.

I became aware that I was strangling my shaking hands, and released them, but was unable to loosen the knot in my throat or calm the throbbing in my chest. I took a couple breaths in attempt to push it away. I stood on my rubber legs, taking another breath before walking out of the room, closing the door behind me.

#####

“We can be friends,” Chase said when he returned twenty minutes later. He sat next to me on the couch and grabbed my hand. The warmth of his hand sent shivers up my arm. I searched his eyes, wanting to believe him.

“I mean, we’re already friends, so nothing has to change.” The disappointment and confusion were replaced by a comforting smile. He appeared to be sincere. “Okay?”

I had no idea what had happened in that twenty minutes, but he was not the same as when he left.

“Yeah, okay,” I said slowly. I tried to smile back.

I was so afraid of seeing him in school on Monday, expecting an awkwardness between us. However, there wasn’t the tension or avoidance I anticipated. Everything was back to the way it was before the weekend ever happened – then again... it wasn’t.

I noticed his presence so much more than I had before. Every time he brushed alongside my arm when we walked down the hall, or leaned in close to whisper to me in Anatomy, it sent thousands of sparks flying through my body. I found myself smiling more and caught up in his gaze longer. It was like I was noticing him for the first time, all over again. But this time, I knew he noticed me too.

Chase sat closer, walked nearer, and looked longer. He started storing his books in my locker in between classes, placing his hand on the small of my back when reaching over me to retrieve them. These subtle touches would ignite a warmth in my chest, and release tingles up the back of my neck. He didn’t hold my hand in school, but he always found a way for the backs of our hands to lightly touch when we were near enough.