"Home"

Chapter 1: The Funny Lady Behind the Door

It was a marvel how snow could fall in the Underground. The ceiling was invisible to any sort of sky or time of day. Yet from the infinite span of darkness, devoid of clouds and color, the soft white flakes coated the ground, one by one gathering into a massive pile of snow. None of the monsters questioned this impossible wonder, for they were content upon living their lives to second best. Even Sans the Skeleton, who gazed upwards from his sentry station, his permanent smile ever present as each snowflake fell past his line of sight.

It was common knowledge that skeletons couldn't feel the cold. But Sans came to the Snowdin Forest, wearing a large blue jacket over his white t-shirt. The top of his feather hood waved softly in the small breeze, tickling Sans cheek every minute or so. He lifted up his ketchup bottle to his teeth, squeezing the contents through an open slit and swallowed with a satisfying gulp. This was an effective technique when he didn't want to open his mouth.

Sans looked down at his station, setting his bottle down before turning his left hand towards him. He contemplated silently at a non-existent wrist watch and his white pupils glistened with glee.

"Guess it's time for my break, huh?" Sans chuckled and got up from his seat, walking around his station with his hands in his pockets. "Keep watch for humans," Sans winked at his desk and left without waiting for a response. He walked silently across a riggidy bridge and slipped easily through the poorly constructed gate. Not like he had to move much: the gate was wide enough for even the fattest monster to pass through. Sans would've informed the builder of its faults, but he knew that his brother did it out of the best intentions.

Besides, everything Papyrus did was automatically cool in Sans eyes.

He continued down the snowy path, hearing the snow crunch under his pink slippers and the sound of rustling trees against the breeze. Perfect day for a nap, Sans thought, nodding to himself. He scanned the potential areas for his rest as he walked. He considered stopping where he was and plopping face first into the path. A large pillow all to himself. "Then it would always be on the cool side." Sans snickered, closing his eyes as he shook his head. Maybe, today would be a day for practicing jokes instead.

He opened his eyes. He knew exactly where to go now.

Instead of putting in effort to walk further, Sans called forth his magic and stepped into a void of blue crystals. They were scattered in a parallel pattern of symmetry that circled around Sans. With every other line, the direction of movement changed from upwards to downwards, in sync with the flow of time. It was here that Sans could use his "shortcuts". Only he knew how the patterns worked and where they all led. Apart from a certain few monsters, but one no longer existed. The other, Sans hoped, would never have to learn.

Sans found his desired location and entered through the pattern, coming back into reality within seconds. He was now in front of large purple door that embedded firmly against a wall; the borderline between Snowdin Forest and the Ruins. Above the door was an archway supported by two columns, showing the royal family insignia on the front of the stone. Normally no monster would come this far, in fear that if they came close, a human would appear and slaughter them to dust.

Sans used this place to practice his knock knock jokes.

He made himself comfortable by sitting in the snow and crossing his legs firmly under him. He began by knocking on the door twice and waited for a response. After a moment, he answered the joke himself, expecting this to happen. "Who's there?" he imagined the voice to be in different pitch than his own. He continued out loud.

"Guinea."

"Guinea who?"

"Guinea a break."

Sans imagined different scenarios of how they would react. They would either groan in annoyance, give a lighthearted chuckle, or even laugh out loud. Either way, he was amused by every reaction. And that made him smile a bit more.