matty healy imagines

the city // matty

🌸 via macabrematty on tumblr !!

☘ go read hard feelings , loveless and then melodrama !!

☄ go read my rant and poem book (and song recommendations)

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Soft ringlets of smooth smoke escaped Matty’s lips as he sat on the side of the street, his pea coat wrapped tightly around his small frame as he watched the town’s people bustle around with little patience. “You’re intertwining your soul with somebody else.” He ran the lyrics over through his brain as he lit up another cigarette and placed it between his lips. His fingers lightly tapping against his phone as he closed his eyes and attempted to forget that he was sitting on a park bench looking like a fool. He was enjoying the feeling of existence. “I’m looking through you while you’re looking through your phone and leaving with somebody else.” A small cough erupted from his throat as he tossed the burned cigarette onto the ground and stomped it under his scuffed Oxfords. He couldnt really recall the last time he had drank or had a smoke with G but he could recall telling his girlfriend that he had relapsed, the horrified look on her face, she was angry and confused. She was the one who had laid on bed with him while he was withdrawing late at night, the one who took his verbal stabbings when he was trying to kick the mess he was on. “It was a mistake, I’m sorry.” He couldn’t say much more than that, he was sorry, but he knew that he was who he was and when she left him he didn’t have trouble understanding why. She needed someone who would take her to nice dinners and lather her in the love she deserved not a run in the morning for hung over breakfast. He knew he was an endless bottom of promises and lies and he wanted to get past that, for her, but he couldn’t seem to get it through his head that he had ruined himself. The boys wanted nothing to do with him, G would come over once in awhile to make sure Matty was still breathing, and he was, barely. “You’ve lost yourself mate, we can’t watch you fall back, your girls just left you, get that through your thick skull!’ Adam had came into Matty’s room the night his girl had left him and he wasn’t surprised to see Matty wrapped up in a thin blanket on the wood floor, his eyes glazed over with tears and hazed by whatever he took to make the feeling go away, just a little bit. "I’m sorry Matty, I’m so sorry.” She had come back to the house to get things she had left after her prior dispatcher and she realized how far everything had gone when Matty sat still on his couch, laying in a t-shirt and thin sweats his face scattered with stubble from not having the motivation to get up and take care of himself. What was the point? “Why won’t you say anything!?” She had screamed when she tried to provoke some emotion out of the boy she had once loved but she got nothing in response, he was only a medicated shell of what he used to be. “You’re the one that left, not me.” Matty’s eyes snapped open and he vaguely remembered where he was for a moment before snapping back into reality, his heart hurt and so did his head but he picked himself up and decided a simple stroll around the park would be progress. After all, picking himself up after a horrendous crash into reality was something he was poised at.

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