Its All Experimental

Official

What you just read happened to me three years ago today. Today is my birthday, November 3rd, 2014. Which was the official day I was born.

My father had told me that I only needed one last alteration, then I would not need to have another for a while. I never understood what he meant when he said they maintained me, but at the time, I had required these tests. But I never questioned my father; it was not something I thought twice about.

That day, James said he was going to make me official.

I snapped my eyes open, looking at the familiar grey ceiling I saw times and times before.

I hated it.

I asked James countless times if we could paint the rooms a different color, but the answer was an invariable no. All I wanted was to wake up and see something different.

James would nod his head and claim it was because it would irritate the lenses in the back of my head. I could go blind if I shatter the plates around my head. Without knowing, I had wished for a change in my life. I had not even experienced, let alone learned, what change meant, but I was about to.

I squinted my eyes, seeking to clear the shrouded cloud that surrounded me. The blur faded, and I could finally see clearly. "Seven eight nine, please be very careful. You cannot fracture the root of your spine; I made it recently, it is very fragile. You will have to wait an hour to allow it to work up enough strength. Only then can you make quick movements." I looked at my father and nodded my head.

He reached down, grabbed my hand, and placed one on my upper back. Only with his help was I able to lift myself up. My chest felt heavy, and so did my legs. My tailbone felt as if it had hit something hard.

"Be careful." He grabbed my left hand now, and he helped me stand.

"I feel heavy," I stated simply.

"I know," James said, slightly out of breath. I could not help but let out a laugh at the statement. When I looked up at him, he seemed proud, looking over the body he finally finished. He would tell me I was his masterpiece, his best work yet.

I thought, no wonder he worried about me so much; I was practically his living sculpture.

James gave me a warm smile before guiding me slowly towards the wall. It had been covered with a cloth ever since the day I was created, until now.

Dust puffed out into the air and spread like a film of smoke. I looked up, and my eyes widened in response to the shock that filled my heart. The girl I saw years before stood right before me, but older. She looks developed and alive. I actually looked like a girl.

I looked down at what covered my body. I wore a simple black t-shirt and black shorts. I placed my hands on my chest, sliding them down my body.

"You are now an official girl." He said with pride.

"Thank you, James." I hugged him tightly, and he did the same.

"You're welcome, miracle."

"When may I have a name?" The words slipped out of my lips before I could stop them. I had already asked my father about giving me a name, and it seemed to be something he dreaded. He always brushed off my question or asked me to remind him later. It was very unlike him, but nevertheless, it was still something he would put away until later.

The silence that came after my question put me on edge. After what felt like hours, he spoke, "I have thought a lot about that, Miracle. Why can't I just name you Miracle?"

"Because James," I said, pulling away from him. "It is not a normal name," I stated, placing my hands on my hips.

"You are not a normal girl-"

"I wish to be normal," I replied with a frown creeping up onto my lips. The tone of my voice came across as harsh, maybe more stern than I wanted to sound. But being normal is a challenging goal to achieve, especially when you were created in a lab. I never told James I wanted to be normal, but I liked to think he already knew.

I did centuries' worth of research on how a girl should look and how a proper girl is accepted into society. I had to spend extra time trying to understand what the definition of "pretty" really is. There were a billion definitions from millions of people.

Google states, "pret•ty - to be attractive in a delicate way without being truly beautiful or handsome."

So many girls are pretty, but I wanted to be beautiful.

I wanted to be pleasing to the eye, as almost every guy said on the internet. I did research; I looked at many pictures of "beautiful girls," the only thing they had in common was their proportions. They were all almost exactly the same. I was just grateful my father had gotten that part correct.

James frowned and looked down at the floor with slight disappointment. I swallowed the lump that gathered at the base of my throat, and I felt like crying. What is it that I am feeling?

Guilt?

"Okay, I have decided. Your name will be Lilith." He said with a slight look of sadness. In return, I smiled with excitement. I jumped and crash into James, wrapping my arms around him.

"Thank you."

"You are welcome." He said, petting my head softly.

I froze at the sound of the clock that sat no more than fifteen feet away. My senses spiked.

I looked around, and noises began to spill into my head like a small leak on a dam. I could hear everything: the blood in my ears, heartbeats, steps outside, breathing. Heavy breathing. It would not stop; it was constant.

Even though there was so much filling my mind, one thought screamed louder than the rest. This heart I heard in my head was working too hard. The beat was as loud as a drum. They were going to die.

"Miracle? Are you okay?"

Then it stopped, all of it; the sound, the heartbeat, the thoughts. My eyes returned to normal, and everything seemed blurry. "Miracle?"

"James, my name is Lilith," I stated simply; he chuckled slightly.

"Okay, Lilith. As you have heard, it is midnight. I must go to work. Please make sure you are overseeing the house."

"Okay," I said, nodding my head.

"Please clean up; I need to get ready."

"Okay, I will." I watched him as he grabbed the brown leather bag on the seat next to me. My heart sank, and I wished he could stay home longer.

"I will be back, Lilith. Be careful."

"I will," I replied with fake happiness in my voice.

"Don't forget about the sleep you must take-"

"Okay-"

"Make sure-"

"Just go!" I said, a smile creeping onto my face as I push him farther towards the stairs.

"Okay, see you later, Lilith."

"Bye." I heard his feet climb the stairs slowly.

He is never fast at anything. I thought to myself before looking around the entire room. Maybe I should have told my father about the noises, about the sight, about the breathing...

If I told him anything, then he really would know that I was not a normal girl. I feared he would try and change me again. I swallowed and nodded my head. I listened to the voice in my head, and I began to clean my table. The smile on my lips fell when I spotted two lenses in the tray in front of me.

He will fix my eyes later, I'm sure.

I wanted to have pupils and irises like everyone else. It looked like a pocket full of green liquid and a back spot dead center of it. Maybe they will help me see better...

I put it back before I grabbed the rest of the tools on the table and all over the floor. I thought that maybe then I would be a beautiful girl. Just maybe...