Dear Someone,
I lost myself to my self many times.
I've tried many things to be appreciated by others but mainly to be appreciated by myself.
I couldn't choose.
Couldn't pick what I wanted
The voices around me that I thought was society was my own words.
And I gave into it.
I hated myself.
How my eyes weren't even.
How my forehead was formed into a five-head
How my lips were too small.
I hated the way I looked so I stop looking at myself.
I stopped being myself.
And I gave into the harsh words in my mind that was myself.
Until I realized why am I doing this to myself?
I had a petite frame.
Always was told that
"You're too skinny."
"Why, you look like a bag of bones?"
They always tell my family
"Put some meat on her."
I was always that sister.
That friend.
That girl.
Feeling like I was starving myself when it was just my body that made me who I was.
I don't have money.
I don't want a lot of money.
I just wanted to be accepted.
Just to myself at least.
That's when I realized I had to accept myself if I want others to accept me for who I am.
Not who I was.
I want people to appreciate that I am who I am not by their words but my own.
Once I heard other people say to me what I said to my head I almost gave in.
Almost.
But no.
I wasn't going to be that girl.
I wanted to be myself.
I want to accept myself.
And I did.
I did it.
Just by eating a certain way, drinking plenty of fluids and exercising the way it made me fit
I started to love myself until I realized that I wasn't myself anymore but better.
Friends.
Family.
Partner.
I couldn't thank them even more for being here in my life.
For accepting me the way I couldn't accept myself.
Helping me with my diet, supporting me through my workouts and leading me towards a brighter future that I set for myself.
I realized something that day when I looked in the mirror.
Even though I didn't love myself at that point I knew someone on this earth did.
And when I find that person.
I made sure that I would love myself to also love them too.
Oh what the world could do to you if you just look in the mirror and think of being with someone who accepts the way you accept yourself.
Can't wait to meet you someday.
Love,
Red.
