Girls Like Girls (TNTWIllContest)

Girls Like Girls

Girls can't like other girls.

No one ever said it to me, but I knew they all believed it. I believed it for a while. Until one day when I didn't.

The girl was pretty. I was in sixth grade. No one told me I could like more than one gender and no one told me I could like a girl and not be doing something wrong. But here I was, looking at her. She had brown hair and eyes. Freckles dotted her nose like stars. She had the most beautiful smile.

I watched her until I realized what I was doing. And then it came.

Guilt and disgust washed over me. I was looking at this girl and thinking about how pretty she was. She would hate me for thinking of her like that, I hate me for thinking of her like that. My stomach churned in disgust at myself. How could I, another girl, like a girl?

The bell rang and everyone got up from their seats and went out the door. I follow behind them, my head hanging low in shame.

I'm in seventh grade. The boy next to me was attractive as far as seventh graders go, but so was the girl on my other side. How could I like more than one gender? What is wrong with me? Am I a mistake? Am I broken? Am I confused?

I'm in eighth grade.

"I like boys... and I like girls," I tell my friends, trying to keep and cool and collected demeanor.

They're all quiet. Was this a mistake?

"Called it." One says and smiles at me.

They all smile and tell me it's ok. They tell me they don't care.

I'm in ninth grade. Girls are pretty, so are boys and so are everyone in between. I can like more than just one. I can admire a girl with out being a predator.

I'm not a mistake. I'm not broken I'm not confused. I'm pan and I am me.