Lost

14

It's been about two months since the last time I wrote in here. Alex is still on oxygen because his cancer went to his lungs. He's doing ok, it's just, I'm worried he'll give out soon, I don't wanna lose him. He's the best thing that's ever happened to me. Vicky and Nixon are a thing now and they are so cute. Dad hasn't tried to contact me, thank god.

"Whatcha doin?" Vicky knocks on my room door.

"Nothing" I close my journal.

"Is that a diary?" She flops on my bed.

"Yea and for my eyes only"

"Just a peek?" She begs.

"Ok, just this once" I sigh.

"Yay" She opens up the diary to the latest page.

"Aww, that's so sweet. Wait you guys had sex! Aw you love him" Vicky doesn't take her eyes off the page.

"Ok enough" I snatch the journal from her hands.

"And yes me and Nixon are a thing" Vicky smiles.

"I called it" I smile.

"Enough about me and Nixon, I think you love Alex, from what I just read"

"No, I, I don't know" I sigh.

"Aww, you do" Vicky stands up.

"Shut it!"

"Whatever you say....did yo. guys use protection?" Vicky asks. My eyes widen.

"We totally forgot" I gasp.

"Could I be pregnant?" I ask.

"Don't panic, I'm sure, your fine, just get some rest ok, school's tomorrow, but if you see signs of pregnancy, be quick to tell me" She leaves shutting the door behind her.

I never really thought about loving Alex, I, I think I do. I can't tell him that, it could be too soon, though I don't know how much time he has. I really hope I'm not pregnant, I'm not ready. Before I know it, I fall asleep thinking about it.

"ROSE ROSE WAKE UP!!!" I hear a voice shout.

"What? What is it!" I jump out of bed immediately to see Vicky and Max standing over me.

"Alex, he's in the hospital, he isn't breathing" Vicky runs downstairs. I follow to see the others on the couch.

"Can we leave? Why are we all just sitting here?" I run out the door hoping on my motorcycle driving to the hospital.

Once I arrive and I run inside the emergency room asking for Alex Whitman at the front desk.

"Are you a family member?" The lady asks.

"Yes, I'm his.. Sister can I see him?" She leads me too the room he was staying in. I burst in to see Alex lying on the bed with his parents sitting beside him.

"Your daughter is here" The nurse leaves the room.

"Rose you should've lied, we wanted to be alone" His dad says.

"I'm sorry I had too see him" He was breathing from a tube down his throat and connect to all of these machines.

"What happened?" I walk over to the bed.

"He said his chest was burning, then he fainted" His mom says.

"Will he be okay?" I ask.

"We don't know" His dad adds.

"Once we do, you'll be the first one we call Rose, you should head home, it's late" His mom adds.

"Tell him I was here when he wakes" I leave the room too see everyone waiting in the chairs.

"How come you got too see him?" Nixon immediately stands when he sees me.

"I lied, said I was his sister" I whisper.

"He's gonna be ok, I'm hoping. He's still breathing. Until further notice we shouldn't come back" I say.

"What no, I'm not just gonna leave him!" Nixon says.

"It's what his parents want" I add.

"Fine" Nixon scratches the back of his head sighing.

All night I was thinking about Alex lying in the hospital bed, barely even alive, and I possibly being pregnant, I got no sleep, I just keep waking up every hour. My alarm went off when I was finally getting some real sleep. I sigh turning off the alarm. I stand up throwing on a sweat shirt with some sweat pants. I look in the mirror to see bags under my eyes, ugh. I put on my flats and I grab my backpack heading out the door. I'm guessing Max wasn't up yet, he usually is. I don't mind it, I just drive to school.

It was weird not seeing Alex at school, it wasn't the same. I hung out with Max in Study Hall today. I was kinda zoned out.

"Hello?" Max says.

"Oh, what" I realized I was just staring at the empty chair where Alex should be.

"Are you ok?" Max asks.

"Obviously she isn't, look at her" Max says.

"I got no sleep last night because I keep thinking about Alex in the hospital. Not to mention we had sex with no protection, so my life's going great" I sigh resting my hand on my chin.

"What!" Max gasps.

"Even I use protection, and I'm gay" Max whispers.

"I wanna check, but doesn't it take a week or so for a test to be accurate?"

"I'd wait, just to be sure. Have you mentioned this to anybody else?" Max asks.

"Just Vicky, she's like my older sister, and I tell her everything, you guys too"

"Aww, I'm touched. Are you gonna tell Alex when he wakes?" Max asks.

"Let's calm down, I'm not even sure if I'm pregnant" I whisper.

"If you were? Would it be so bad?" Max shrugs.

"Let's not do this ok? I don't think I'm ready for baby" I sigh.

The bell rings. I stand up walking to third period without Max by my side.

At home I sit in bed staring at the wall when I get a text from Sam.

Get to the hospital, Alex is awake

I jump up running downstairs.

"What is it?" Max asks from the kitchen.

"Alex woke up, where is Vicky can she drive us? My bike is out of gas"

"Nixon just texted me-" Vicky runs downstairs with her keys jingling in her hands.

"Yea, Sam just texted me can you drive us?"

"Well come on" Vicky says.

She drives us both the hospital. The nurse already recognizes us as we run in. I see everyone gathered around Alex's bed. He sits up when he sees us.

"Rose!" Alex smiles.

"Hey" I run up to him giving him a big hug.

"Your awake" I smile.

"Yea, but I'm not feeling too hot" Alex sighs sitting back.

"The doctors wanna put him into surgery Friday" Ms. Whitman smiles.

"Will he be cured?" I ask.

"It's possible" Mr. Whitman smiles.

"Oh, thank god" I smile.

"Finally" Nixon smiles.

"Do you still have to stay here?" I ask.

"Yea, just to be safe" Mr. Whitman says.

"Oh good" I smile.

"You look more relived then I was when I found out" Alex says.

"It's possible" I smile.