Perfect Target

Chapter 9 - Way To Believing

Maybe I know, somewhere
Deep in my soul
That love never lasts
And we've got to find other ways
To make it alone
But keep a straight faceAnd I've always lived like this
Keeping a comfortable, distance
And up until now
I had sworn to myself that I'm content
With lonelinessBecause none of it was ever worth the riskBut, you are, the only exception

- Only Exception, Paramore

CHAPTER NINE

"Sweetheart, I promise we'll have a games night. We'll play with your favorite nerf guns, I'll make you your favorite chocolate cupcakes and then we'll all watch whatever movie you want." I heard her coaxing voice through the phone as I clutched my teddy bear tightly to my side. It didn't replace her warmth a bit.

"Don't lie. You said that last time too, then you left me for work. I don't want to have games night with you." I pouted angrily.

"C'mon, flower, we know we've been busy a lot lately, but we'll make up for it, okay? Papa is very excited to use his nerf gun and Fiona says she can't wait to have a tea party with you."

"No. I don't want to have a tea party. I don't want to talk to anyone. No one cares about me." I hung up the phone, without saying 'love you' to my mother like I usually did.

Suddenly, the phone was gone, my teddy bear disappeared and he came into sight. He wore a terrifying grin, not a inch of remorse visible on his face. I looked around, my eyes desperately searching for mom, dad, Fiona—anyone, but they had all disappeared.

Only he was there. And he laughed at me. Laughed as I sobbed. Laughed as they vanished. Laughed—

"Scarlett? Scarlett!" My eyes flew open, the panic in my chest making it hard for me to breath. A thin layer of sweat covered my trembling body as my eyes frantically darted around, hopelessly trying to return back to the present.

"Scarlett." I felt a warm hand on my shoulder and I looked up, my wet eyes meeting his concerned ones in the dark. "Breathe. Just breathe. Everything is okay."

"N-no." I shook my head, pressing my lips together to stop them from shaking. "It's not. They just disappeared. I don't know how to—I don't.."

"Shh, I'm here now." he shifted closer to me, slowly taking me into his arms. I clutched his shirt tightly with my fingers, burying my head in his chest. I held onto him for support while trying to calm myself down. He combed his fingers through my hair gently, whispering soothing words in my ears until my body started to relax.

I felt his shirt becoming wet from my tears. I shifted my body so that my cheek was pressed against chest as he embraced me warmly. I listened to his heartbeat and tried to focus on regulating my breath. We remained like that for a while, engulfed in silence.

I just needed to be held. I'd needed someone to hold me for a very long time. I didn't realise that until now. My arms tightened around Evan.

"Better?"

"Mm." I didn't know what I was feeling. It had been a while since I woke up from a nightmare. I was usually always careful. "What happened?" I asked quietly, still not letting go of him.

"You don't remember?"

It all slowly started to come back to me. I had fallen asleep in the car on our way back from the club. I still wasn't fully in my senses when we reached the hotel so Evan had offered to help me to my room. He had taken off my heels, brought me fresh clothes from the wardrobe as well as my makeup wipes from the bathroom. He had patiently waited for me at the kitchenette, even though he didn't have to, while I conveniently fell asleep the moment he was out of sight.

"I fell asleep again. I think I had too much to drink."

"You were crying in your sleep." he hesitated. "Are you okay now?"

For some reason, the question made me tear up again. I sniffled, feeling my throat burn unpleasantly.

"Scarlett."

"Don't." my tone was sharper than intended, but my voice trembled pathetically. "I'm fine. It was just a nightmare."

The raging storm cut through the sky, roaring and growling. I imagined the skies being filled with dark clouds, the rain pounding on the ground heavily. The thunder was loud, almost violent. I could hear the winds howling.

It reminded me of the night that my life changed. The storm was sudden, splintering through the silence I had taken for granted. Bad things always came unexpectedly, never allowing the good things to last long. Too much of anything wasn't good for humans, happiness being no exception.

"I'm fine." I repeated, more strongly this time.

"I hope you know that it's okay not to be fine." he said softly. His fingers gripped my hair gently, pulling me closer to his body.

I didn't reply. I didn't know how to. We simply stayed like that, wordless. A part of me wanted to push him away while another wanted to stay in his arms for as long as it was possible. As long as I could allow myself to.

"Are you hungry?"

I smiled a little. "No."

"Do you think you can go back to sleep?"

"Evan."

"Yes?"

"Don't go."

I heard him inhale deeply. My heart was pounding in my chest. I didn't know what he was thinking. I didn't know why I wanted him to stay, but I just did. I didn't know why it was different with him. And I especially didn't know what I was going to do about it.

"I'm here." he whispered to me. I nudged my head into his neck, taking a deep breath. It felt like everything else around us simply evaporated and it was just him and I.

Maybe tomorrow when I wake up, this would all just be a dream. I wasn't sure if I wanted it to be one or not. I hadn't felt this safe before. It brought a fear in me. And something else. Guilt? I didn't know what to do about it. I presently didn't have the strength to reach the core of it.

All I knew was that night I slept better than I had in years, with Evan's strong arms wrapped around my body.

_____

This pandemic has been tough. I was feeling very inspired until a few months ago, but I think we've all learnt how quickly and unexpectedly things can change around here. Hopefully I'll be able to get back to updating regularly soon. Till then, I hope you guys liked this chapter. Don't forget to vote & comment. 

Q - How has this pandemic been for you? Lets share our experiences.