Love of Taliyah

First Dip.

I've met this somewhat good for me guy. we've been talking for about a month and after a few times seeing eachother I finally let him take a dip..
it was very awkward to me .. i wasn't all that comfortable .. but I'm becoming to be ..
he talks about a future with me.. and motivates me to continue with my writing as well..

being through what i've been through tho.. it puts questions and the worst thoughts in my head. is he really for me? was this all for sex? If he isn't leaving.. is there a chick on the side? who else is he seeing or communicating with on his spare time?

the world will never know.. or maybe just I would never know.. and me not knowing completely every last detail is what DRIVES me insane. me having to ... to ... ew ... trust .

it's not easy to do after doing it so many times and having that same trust shattered into pieces .. with lies .. It hurts to be lied to .. even if they didn't mean it ..