Addicted To You .L.S.

TwentyThree.

A Year and a Half Ago
(Sixteen Years Old)

"What do you think of Kylie Miller?" Harry asks. We're making the hour-and-a-half drive to UNI, where Gems working on her bachelorettes in business. Harry like to drag me with him on these monthly visits. I never put up much of a fight because it's usually nice to see Gem. Harry wanted to leave early, so I haven't had a chance to take anything extra and it's making me jittery. I wish I hadn't said I'd drive him, but I hated being the passenger, especially for long distance drives.

"Lou?"
"Huh?"
"Stop zoning out. Kylie Miller? What do you think?"
"I'm driving. And why are we talking about Kylie Miller?" I don't know why I'm playing dumb. When Harry gets bored, he toys with girls.
"I dunno. She's sweet. She used to bring us brownies when you were in the hospital."
"I thought her mum made those?"
"No, Kylie did. Adam told me. Kylie bakes. She just doesn't like to broadcast it."
I shrug. "Okay, the brownies we're good. But she's not smart or anything."

I wondered if that's the point. That she won't be smart enough to notice. I always worried Gem would.

"Kylie's not dumb," he says. "And she's got those big brown eyes. They're like chocolate."
"Oh, come on," I snap, too on edge to hide my annoyance. "Don't tell me you're going to start dating her just because she looks at you like she wants to be your love slave."
He shrugs. "I'm bored. I need some excitement. This year have been bleh. Gemma's gone, mums got her charities. Not to mention the biggest thing that's happened all year is homecoming court."
"The look on Chrissy's face when Amber hit her over the head with the sceptre was worth the week in detention."
Harry snickers. "You're the one who broke her crown."
I don't bother to hide my grin. "I didn't mean to step on it! That float was totally unstable. And I was already at a disadvantage."
"Uh-huh, I believe you, Lou." Harry says. "Homecoming was fun. Detention, not so much. But I don't want fun. Or detention. I want something interesting to happen. Like when Jackie Dennings disappeared."
"Don't wish that! It's twisted!"
"Abductions and unsolved cases usually are."
"Please tell me you aren't getting into that again. The first time was creepy enough."
"I'm not being creepy. Something bad happened to her," he exclaimed.
"Stop being so morbid," I scold. "Maybe she ran away."
"Or maybe she's dead."

My phone thrills and Harry picks it up, turning off the alarm. "Pill time?"
"Yeah. Hand me my case?"
He grabs it from my bag but doesn't give it to me. He looks at me out of the corner of his eye, turning the case over and over, pills clacking together inside.
"What?" I ask.
"Louis." That's all he says. One word, but he can infuse it with such frustration, such worry.

We are experts in each other. It's one of the reasons I've been dodging the inevitable confrontation because if he asks me outright, he'll know my answer is a lie.

"I'm fine," I say, with as much truth as I can muster. "I just need my pills." My skin crawls under his scrutiny. I'm sure he can look right through me, see the drugs floating in my system.
I focus on the road.
He tilts the case back and forth in his hand. "I didn't realize they still had you on so many."
"Yeah, well, they do." It's like I'm on the edge of a cliff that's crumbling, the ground beneath my feet breaking free, slipping from me. I keep glancing at the case in his hand. He's not handing them over.

What am I doing to do if he doesn't?

"Maybe you should think about getting off them. Do a tapering thing or something. It's been forever, and this stuff isn't good for you."
"I think my doctors would probably disagree." I can't keep the edge out of my voice, the warning. Won't he just drop it already?
But he won't. He hears the warning and breezes past it, because that's the way Harry is.